SECTION IV - ASK AUNTIE AHN

Ah, the sweet month of May.

I shouldn't play favorites amongst my Brothers and Sisters, but May is the Sister of my Heart. The Maiden appears as young plants burst forth and assert their individuality, calling "Look at me! I have arrived!" The Mother is there as animal Ladies give birth and begin to raise their furred and feathered children. And the Crone shows up in violent thunderstorms and winds ... reminding us of the wonder of chaos and the power of change.

The God is ever more with us as the light of day extends further into the evenings. He warms the earth in gardens and inspires children to dance in lawn sprinklers. We feel His gentle touch in May. He is the Farmer and the Shepherd. I am particularly fond of Him this time of year ... our gentle and loving Brother and Father.

This week we had our first hailstorm and rainbow of the season. I took a long walk in the warm rain and spent peaceful Sunday afternoons prone in the grass of the back yard, tracking the faces of my future in the gently wafting clouds. The flowers in the pots on the deck are thriving. Those in the ground about the house are looking fine, too. The herbs are in and beginning to stretch their leaves and wake up a bit. The window screens are up and the patio furniture down. The scent of Lily of the Valley floats through the front windows and that of lemon thyme through the back.

When this issue is released, May will have passed gently by ... and ours souls will have entered the heat of the Summer rested and replenished.

May is a gentle giggle, preceding the Divine Belly Laugh which is June!

May the peace ... and the giggle ... be with you.

Ahneke Greystone
AuntieAhn@aol.com

This issue's Auntie Ahn topics follow:

A novice has questions about Deity and archetype
A husband is asking about the appropriate way to "come out" to wife and family
A young friend has questions of faith and religion
A solitary seeks reassurance along her sometimes-lonely path

Question

I am very curious about Wicca. I have a question. What exactly are your Goddess and God? By that I mean are they the personification of your beliefs, or just a representation of the earth and life in general?

Reply

"Yes" ... to all. The meaning of the Goddess and the God is varied ... reflected in a true rainbow of beliefs. This is one of the joys of celebrating the diversity of pagan spirituality. It is one of the comforts of our ways, this vitality and variety.

For most of us, our gods are archetypes that are the "faces" of our personal image of the Divine. It would not be fair for me to attempt to represent the beliefs of my Sisters and Brothers, so I shall share a bit of my own spirituality in the hopes it will help in understanding. You will want to keep in mind, though, that this is a small dose of "Ahneke's Spirituality" and is not a blanket statement to cover all of our beliefs. I'm not so sure that can be done. And that is a good thing!

I believe in the Divine as a separate entity. "My" Divinity is genderless. I don't feel the need to codify, structure or make mundane this Being. It remains distinct and separate and is both within and without of me. I am unable to conceive of the vastness of such a Divine entity. My brain is not able to grasp the total magnificence of It. I "know" emotionally and instinctively that It exists, but cannot describe It to you in specific terms. That is part of the wonder and mystery of it all.

I can, however, bring the Divine to life by giving it breath and blood and emotion. My personal view of the Goddess and God is that they are the archetypes of the Divine made mundane. Brought to a level at which I can comprehend and communicate with them/It. I think my view is fairly common amongst paganfolk, and more specifically so with my Wiccan mates. Some of us have chosen particular pantheons to represent aspects of the Divine and of human nature. Some hold images of the Lady and Lord that are deeply personal and not to be found in the pantheons. I enjoy the myth and wonderful stories of the pantheons, but my Goddess and God are not found in those bodies ... they have been created from my own inspirations and experiences. Either form of archetype ... finding an existing pantheon which represents the aspects of the gods to which we can relate or developing personal symbols ... is equally powerful and majestic.

You ask whether our Gods are representations of personified beliefs. To me, they are. Also you question whether they are representations of the Earth and "life in general." The answer is yes, also, as most pagan paths do not make a distinction between the worlds of Earth, Spirit and Mind. As the Triple Goddess is the archetype for the cycles of life and death and rebirth in the "natural" world, so She is also the appearance of the archetypes of the Goddess within us all.

I highly recommend that if you are unfamiliar with the concepts of archetype, symbol and myth that you widen your horizons by researching in those areas. In the public library you will find fantastic references amongst books on psychiatry and psychoanalysis. And treat yourself, if you have not already, to a read of Joseph Campbell's, "The Power of Myth."

And then invite the Goddess and God into you world and watch with wonder and fascination at the faces and bodies they assume upon their arrival.





Question

I am interested in joining Wicca. Although I am "extremely" interested in joining I was wondering if this would be against my religion? I am a Catholic. I believe in God very deeply, and I also believe in Satan. (Please note, this is a small snip from a much longer letter; and that I have responded privately to many other issues this person raised, and focus only on one aspect of the questioning here - A.G.)

Reply

This question comes to us endlessly, in varying words and from young people raised in many different faiths. I am sure many of you will find my answer to our friend that of the slightly strict, perhaps unbending, elderly Aunt. (They don't call me "Auntie" for nothing!)

First -- our young friend mentioned later in the longer text of her note, "I am a serious 14-year-old. Please do not take me as a joke." Oh, dear heart. Never! Part of what we celebrate in our spirituality is the honoring of all at every age and stage of maturity. Here we listen to your words, with our hearts and our minds. You are a Blessed Maiden amongst us!!!

Now ... the very important topic at hand. Our friend was not only raised as a Catholic, but she believes in most of the principles of that faith. She is also intrigued by what she reads about Wicca, and she and some of her friends have been casting circles and performing rituals (with very mixed results). She is confused. On the one hand, she has found an outlet for her imagination and creativity. On the other, her personal spirituality remains based on the faith of her family. Catholicism.

Pagan practice is the celebration of life and awareness; and the tools of ritual, meditation and visualization we use can be combined with most religious faiths. Additionally, there is the expression of spiritual joy and ecstasy. Those don't have to be mixed. To those of us who practice pagan spirituality, the aspects come together. For others, the tools of personal empowerment and development stand alone quite powerfully.

Here comes the advice that dubbed me "Auntie."

In this case, the young Lady is not invoking gods in her rituals with her friends. She is basically "playing" at the Craft as the media presents it. I don't mean this to insult you, young friend. But what you described further in your note was not the description of a religious experience. It was one where your friends and you have come together in creative ways to explore the world and redefine yourselves. This reminds me of my young days practicing yoga and studying Eastern philosophy, while attending Mass on Sunday. It is an exploration. A journey. A widening of the horizons. To me, that is "play" in that it is an exercise of the creative aspect of your mind. Play can be very serious. I still have great and mysterious moments of play in my life, and hope always to.

What I see in this situation is our friend is very tied to her Catholicism. She still believes in the Christian God and, it appears, the Trinity, and she believes in the Devil. I am going to assume, therefore, that she also believes in Heaven and Hell. These are the precepts of her religion. And they are not Wiccan.

Young friend ... it is time for you to devote thought to your personal spirituality. Auntie's advice to young people is to first learn everything you possibly can about the religion in which you were raised. Leaving the faith of your families is an immense step. It is your heritage. It is the faith of your Mother and of your Mother's Mother. If you are in search of some aspect of spirituality that you are not finding in the practice of your family's faith, first be sure that it isn't there with you having overlooked it. The Catholic religion, as with all religions of the world, has a wealth of mystical and powerful theology, ritual and celebration.

As a teenager it is very often the time to begin looking deeply into the religion we have accepted as the norm thus far. It is a time to speak with our parents, religious teachers and others about our beliefs and concerns. To see where we want to celebrate what is part of our heritage and where we want to question it. And then to proceed to study, read and learn about other religions. And not just Wicca ... all the wonderful and marvelous variety of faiths throughout time and history.

Where the teenage Ahneke's study of yoga took her was off onto paths of Native American spirituality, Buddhism, various forms of Christianity, transcendental meditation and visualization. And by the time I was hit with Feminist Spirituality and Goddess Celebration I was very familiar with its history emanating from Eastern philosophy and religion and modern Western thought. Wicca was the "good fit" ... but it was due to the total experiences of my religious meandering to that time.

My advice to our wise, 14-year-old friend. Think for yourself. Don't let the drama and fantasy of play-ritual with your friends shadow the issue at hand -- your personal spirituality and your relationship with your God. Use those rituals for the betterment of yourself ... as tools of meditation and visualization and connection to the world we live in. But be aware that you are not celebrating Wicca. Not unless you are celebrating your spirituality in those rituals ... acts of magick are prayer made into action. That is not what you are experiencing at present. Perhaps it will grow that way. Perhaps it won't. Just be sure you are "aware" and are thinking for yourself and honoring your own inner voice, which is the voice of the gods.

Perhaps this is not what you want to hear, my dear. And this is a difficult note to write. But it is from the heart. Most of us know where you stand and appreciate the confusion and, yes, even the fear. But there is such bliss in learning to think for yourself ... and whether that brings you to a deeper involvement with your Catholic faith or opens your mind to other avenues ... all is well. And as it should be.


Question

I'm married to a Roman Catholic. I've searched for the past eight years for a religion I could put my heart and soul into (so to speak). I believe Wicca is that religion. I do have a major problem. I need some help in informing my wife about my interest in Wicca as well as some tips to answer her questions (if she has any). Any suggestions on how to approach the situation? Also my mother is living in our home. She's a Jehovah's Witness, so it really makes life tough.

Reply

Oh, dear. Auntie Ahn may not be the right person for this one! Friend, I am 45, have been practicing forms of pagan spirituality the greater part of my adult life ... and my parents are still totally unaware. Their visits to our home require a frantic undecorating of my "witchy" knickknacks and a disassembly of my in-house altar. My outdoor shrine is new, and I have no idea how I'm going to disguise that upon their next visit. We each have to make decisions in our life as to how far we come out of the closet with those who mean the most to us. And the decision is rarely simple or easy. And it is personal. I have been criticized regarding my remaining closeted with my parents, but only I can make the decision on that, and on the potential schism that would be caused within my family if I decided the time had come to burst forth. (I have a feeling the garden shrine is going to make that a necessity, unless I forbid the dear Folks from stepping foot in the back yard.)

In your case, since you are sharing the sacred space of your home with your Mother, I can imagine it is very difficult for you and that you must feel smothered in many ways. My heart goes out to you. Which offers you no advice (sigh!).

I might be able to be of more help regarding your upcoming discussions with your wife, as my husband is Roman Catholic. Admittedly, a lapsed one, but still a sincere Christian. Perhaps some of this would be relevant for your Mother, too.

My husband accepts my spirituality totally. And the single-most important reason, which he has told me himself, is that he has seen my joy in life and my contentment with myself do nothing but increase for many years. As he loves me, he welcomes anything that brings me such comfort. He is also at ease now (but worried about this previously) that I do not expect his involvement in my spirituality. I believe early on he thought I might resent the differences in our views and pressure him to "come over." Time took away those doubts. In fact, he gifted me with the most beautiful ebony altar that he made for me himself. And is presently helping me set up the aforementioned Goddess stone in our backyard ... he got that job because he's got the muscles! He can do this because I have never given him any reason to resent the differences ... only celebrate the similarities.

And there are so many similarities. Our love of nature and of our four-legged children and all animals. Our belief in the sacredness of the hearth and the safe haven we have created within our home. Our environmental concerns and "green" lifestyle. Even our recent turn towards vegetarianism. We both cry at beautiful sunsets and come alive during thunderstorms. Family and community are important to us. We honor Divinity, pray regularly and believe in "living" our religions.

When it came to more specific religious issues ... his love of Mary was the answer to our disparate spiritual views. He can see "my" Goddess in her. He celebrates pagan holidays, and I celebrate Christian ones. We are aware that each sees a different significance in the celebrations, but we feel that is appropriate. As a Catholic, he well understands the power of ritual and prayer and of sacred tools (he compared rosary beads to the athame as channels of power and collectors of energy).

It is not always easy living in a house of two faiths (and there you are, my friend, with three in yours). It requires mutual respect. It requires the absence of proselytization. And it requires being able to accept the differences. There are painful aspects. I feel such agony for my husband at times when he needs the comfort of his God but finds only the avenging Grandfather who will make him pay for his supposed sins. And he worries for me, as his religious training teaches him that I will burn forever in Hell. Major differences in theology and in the way we "are" in this world. The challenge, as it is in the world beyond our home, is to accept these differences.

I would hope that your wife, as with my husband, would accept the positive changes that must be happening in you as you grow in your Wiccan spirituality. Surely you, as I, glow with the joy of it!

And, sad as it is to say, you need to know that many of our Brothers and Sisters have chosen not to share their spirituality in any way with their families. Again, a deeply personal decision. I cannot imagine having to refrain from living my beliefs freely within my own home ... but if I thought that the expression of them would endanger my marriage ... which I cherish so ... I don't know what decisions I would have made. I thank the Goddess that my husband and I have "agreed to disagree" on matters of religious philosophy. We are not peas in the same pod. Yet remain strong as a whole. 

Question

I am a solitary who is very new to the craft. I have been crawling around the different web sites gathering information from different sources. I have been studying and reading and meditating to the Goddess asking her for help. And the only thing that keeps coming to me is patience, take my time and such. But I do get impatient, and when that happens I doubt myself. I guess what I want is to get reassurance. Being solitary, whom can you ask if there is no one around for you to talk to? All I have is the Internet and the people I meet that way. I haven't had a spell go right for me yet, and so I am doubting myself. I feel lost. I have been by Silver RavenWolf's help circle and I told them what I did and the tools I used and so on. She told me everything I did was correct and she gave me the name of two deities to use. But, I never used a deity. I fly by what I hear in my head. Am I wrong? Help.

Reply

Reassurance. It is the gift of community, isn't it? And when we are solitary, where, indeed, do we find it? How do we know of the experience of others? How do we grow our own experience when we are in uncharted territory?

In this modern age of paganism where most of us don't have the benefit of family traditions or established covens, books are indeed the source of so much. And, of course, we now add the Internet to that. There is great comfort there, friend. And reassurance. As you read and collect information you will see so much that is different, one book or web site from another. Agreement. Disagreement. Different techniques. Different philosophies. And that in itself should bring you comfort. It shows you that even the wisest of authors have paved their own path as they trod it. It teaches you the most important thing of all -- whatever "feels" right to you personally is your key. It might change day to day as you read and experience new things. But there is a "rightness" about the very act of change, as that is the reassurance of growth and renewal.

Have you taken the basic step of starting a Book of Shadows? Sitting down to write the things that seem clear to you and to list questions is a great mover of your mind and soul. Three-ringed is preferred, as you will be tossing pages out almost as fast as you are putting pages in! But eventually certain things will remain there ... and upon them you will begin to build your personal philosophy. My first BOS started with visualizations of the elements and included pictures cut out of magazines that I thought represented the Goddess and the God (none of the magazines in our house for years were left with pictures -- they were stripped bare). Very simple. Then I started adding poems that spoke to my heart. Quotes that moved me. You would not have seen it as a collection of religious items. Slowly, it grew into something in which I began to recognize the "constants" ... those things that consistently spoke to my soul. Today it looks like a more "typical" and generic BOS, full of rituals and correspondences and the "stuff" of my religion. It looked more like a scrapbook at the start, though. The reassurance of personal growth.

You mention that "all" you have is the Internet. Have you signed up for e-mail lists and discussion groups? They are powerful tools. Amongst the babble you will discover great wit and wonderful wisdom. Again, the variety reinforces that each discovers their personal Truths. And it is guaranteed that your heart will recognize others and you will start private correspondences that will become friendships. The reassurance of companionship.

Spells not going well? Perhaps it is too early for you to focus your energies in that direction. If you are still discovering your personal beliefs ... your spirituality ... and still studying meditation and visualization, spells are, truthfully, still a long way off, my friend. I assume you have been told by more experienced Witches that the more wisdom we attain the fewer and farther between come our spells. Spells are active and vital prayer ... it would be very unusual to have your intent so focused at such an early stage in your studies to become adept at such powerful actions. The reassurance of "not rushing it."

Regarding your choosing of Deities. Again, time will tell. Seems to me that your instinct is as mine was. That a pantheon would not serve your needs, and that you need to personalize your gods. I hope the answer above regarding the archetypes of Divinity offered you some inspiration. Perhaps those that were chosen for you were as suggestions ... and as a way for you to think on the function of archetype? I don't personally believe it is something that can be chosen for you. I believe that, in time, you will discover faces to your gods. The reassurance of personal choice and individuation.

So ... let me reassure you. And grant you the gift of time. With reassurance and patience you will go far. You will just go slowly and with great forethought! And, hopefully, it is additionally reassuring to know that we all wanted to rush things a bit when it was all new to us. And experienced some of the same failures in the rushing of it. It's always nice to know others share your experience, isn't it? "That" is reassuring!