SECTION III - STORY TIME
Remembrances - Arianne ShadowWalker
Open Letter of thanks - Moonwillow
The Night Before Samhain - Author Unknown
Fiona & Julian - Sorrows and Celebrations - Selene SilverWind
Meagan's Samhain - Kat Dyer
First Esbat - jiaz
WiseWoman - Arianne ShadowWalker
Hymn to Aphrodite - Gwaine C. Ross
Abigail - Mystickally
Hymn to Pan - Gawaine C. Ross
Lending Heart - Catherine
Remembrances
By Arianne ShadowWalker
(c) Oct. 1999
Throughout our lives, you all were there.
In good and bad times, you showed you cared.
Relatives and friends, more than a few,
Whatever will we all do without you?
From parents who taught us right and wrong,
To friends who shared in our life's song.
To total strangers who touched us all,
No more will we hear your voices call.
You held our hands, and dried our tears,
Comforted all of our childish fears.
Stood by us as we attempted to grow...
Why oh why did you have to go?
We shared our lives, our thoughts and dreams,
Our friends shared in our crazy schemes.
Secrets and hopes and fantasies,
Some of you help set our spirits free.
Enabling us to expand our minds,
And enjoying those treasures we'd find.
Helping us to strive, achieve, explore,
And now you're gone, with us no more.
Enriching our lives with word, thought or touch,
Who knew that we'd miss you so much?
Your laugh, your smile, your being so clever..
And now you've gone...left us forever.
Our time together was special and sweet,
Your pressnce making our lives complete.
Forever you'll have a place in our hearts,
Even though we've had to say, "Merry Part."
But we know that we will meet again,
Our relatives and much-loved friends.
After giving us all you had to give,
We honor you now, "What is Remembered, Lives!"
In honor of our departed friends and relatives.
Blessed Be!
Dear God/Goddess/Great spirit;
It's so easy to be caught up in the whirl of the day-to-day that we forget to take the extra time
to focus on our blessings. But in retrospect, even the hardships in life are often blessings.
Sometimes they're a nudge from You that we need a change, or sometimes we need to look at them in
a different light before we can see them.
So, for all my friends and family, who are a blessing without a disguise, I offer my thanks to
You. For those golden memories, which are made every day when speaking to you in one form or
another, voice, written word, physical touch... may we continue to make cherished memories for
many years to come.
For those I've met during the year whom have hurt me or my friends, I offer thanks, because they
taught me the value of true friendship, which was not diminished by any hurtful actions which
could happen. Likewise belief in good human nature, which remains intact despite all. And
because I have been taught caution in placing trust, because I have been reminded to value where
I place my friendship and trust as well.
For seasons changing, storms weathered, and clear-skied days ripe with the opportunity to let the
spirit sing, I am thankful. For having had the opportunity to know and love those who have passed
on to be with You, I am thankful. For having had the chance to assist a person who needed me,
I am thankful. And for moments of peace and meditation. And for Your wisdom in letting me make my
mistakes, and to learn from them.
For having had enough (enough food, money and shelter) I am thankful. Too much and it may lose
its value. Let me never forget there are those out there who do not have enough, and let me help
them whenever possible.
For the unconditional love of animals and children, and the way they teach you to return
unconditional love back, I am thankful.
And I am thankful for Your presence in my life, in so many forms, old
familiar ones, and new ones discovered every day.
Love,
Moonwillow
Sorrows and Celebrations
by Selene Silverwind
Slvrwind@aol.com
A few weeks before Samhain, Fiona fluttered through her apartment arranging the Samhain decorations
she had amassed over the years. A large glowing ceramic jack o'lantern bedecked one corner, while
a natural branch-handled broom bearing an orange and black ribbon garnished the opposite corner.
In the kitchen, an apple doll fashioned after a folktale hag witch graced the center of the table.
A loud shriek announced Julian's entrance. Fiona turned from the string of jack o'lantern lights
she was hanging in the window to see his stunned face planted squarely in the center of a large
paper maché spider dangling from a crepe paper web. Raising his eyebrows, he stepped to the side
and turned to see what had hit him. The web was suspended from a Happy New Year banner. "Wow,
this is quite different from last year's décor," he said, then took a second look at the banner
overhead. "I get the spider, but I don't get the New Year's banner."
Fiona stopped for a moment. "You haven't been doing you're reading," she teased.
"You've turned me into a rebel."
"Well, if you had, you would know that the other half of Samhain is the Witches' New Year. I
thought we should celebrate that part of the sabbat this year."
He nodded. It seemed like a good idea to him, although a part of him wanted very much to go
through the mourning ceremony again so he could make his final goodbye to his aunt. Reading his
mind, Fiona piped up with the plans she had made. "Lady Celesta has invited us to her dumb supper.
You can still say your last goodbye. She'll also have a champagne toast at midnight."
Julian smiled and pulled her into his arms, gently stroking her cheek with his hand. "How do you
manage to peer into my head so easily?"
"I just know you so well my dear!" She grinned and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "Now come
help me with the pumpkin." Fiona led Julian into the kitchen and pointed at the large orange
gourd resting in the middle of the floor. Julian hefted it onto the counter with a grunt.
"How did you ever get this up here?"
She giggled and smiled into his confused face. "I rolled it."
As Fiona retrieved a black marker from the junk drawer, relief flooded Julian's features. Fiona
grabbed a stack of paper and started sketching a sweet face. Julian didn't like it, so she told
him to sketch his own. While they worked, a thought occurred to her. "You have no idea what a
dumb supper is, do you?"
He looked up at her, his face sheepish. "I was hoping you would explain at some point." He handed
her his drawing and, shaking her head with amusement at the childish scratches, she lifted the
pen to merge their two designs into one.
He watched in awe of her artistic ability as her hand swirled across the paper, rapidly sketching
out a diabolic pumpkin face while she explained. "Everyone brings the favorite foods of those who
have passed on recently. The table is set with extra places for them, and the entire meal is
spent in silence. Oh, and you should bring a token or photo with you," she said. She turned the
drawing around and slid it over to him. "How's this?"
"Nice," he said, gazing with satisfaction at the fiendish trapezoidal eyes, demonic jagged toothed
grin, and sweet triangular nose set in the middle of the pumpkin's face. "I say we start
carving."
On the night of Samhain, Fiona and Julian stepped off the PRT and made their way down the walkway
toward Lady Celesta's gathering house. Fiona's dark velvet cape swirled in the brewing autumn
storm and she pulled it a little tighter around her large belly. Julian carried the pumpkin pie
he had made for his aunt and the humidor of rocks she had bestowed upon him at her passing. Black
candles flickered in the windows of the darkened structure and Julian grew tense as they moved
closer. An eerie silence surrounded them. He leaned down and whispered to her, "I'm not so sure
about this."
"Don't worry, we'll be fine." Fiona stepped up to the door and tapped lightly. The door was
whisked open by Lady Celesta who was draped in a flowing black broom skirt and black velvet
tunic. Bright amber beads hung around her neck. She ushered the pair inside and took Fiona's
cape and Julian's coat.
"Merry meet," Lady Celesta said. Sensing Julian's nervousness, she greeted them both with
reassuring hugs. "Since this is the first time you've come to my dumb supper, there are a few
things you need to know. Once you enter the dining room, please remain quiet. There are several
empty place settings on the table marked by black candles. Those are for our unseen guests.
Listen carefully for any messages they may have for you as this is the one night they can cross
over. At midnight, we'll adjourn from the dining room and go out to the living room for a New
Year's toast. Any questions?"
Julian proffered the box his aunt had given him after her passing. "Where should I put this?"
Lady Celesta led them into the dining room and pointed to a large altar draped in black crepe silk
at the end of the table. A large white candle burned at the top of the altar, casting a dim glow
on the items below it. Julian set the box down among the collection of photographs and personal
momentos and turned to follow Lady Celesta to the table where several people were already seated
at a long banquet table set for forty.
The table was also covered in the same black silk crepe and a thick black candle burned at the end
of each plate set aside for one of the guests from the other side and a thick white candle burned
at the end of each plate set aside for the living. In the center, a sinister jack o'lantern
glowed, warding off any uninvited specters. Lady Celesta showed them to their seats and they sat
beside each other, with an empty plate between them.
Lady Celesta returned to the head of the table and rang a large bell three times to signal the
opening of the ritual. Once all eyes were on her, she moved to the Eastern corner of the room
and began to glide clockwise around the room, sprinkling saltwater on the hard floor as she moved.
Her first circle complete, she moved once again to the East and made the sign of the invoking
pentagram. She repeated this with each quarter until she had returned to her place in the
North. She stopped and stood silent at the head of the table, her eyes lifted towards the heavens, until
her breath became slow and deep. "Lady of the darkness, lady of night, protector of those
journeying to the other side, join us in this rite as we call to our friends from behind the
veil. Protect us from the uninvited and keep us on this side of life," she paused and took
another deep breath. "Lord of death, lord of the dark home, protector of the wandering spirit,
join us in this rite as we call to those passed. Protect us from the uninvited and keep us on
this side of the veil." She paused once more, then spoke softly. "You may each now invite those
you wish to join you from the Summerlands. Please do so quietly. We will not speak again until
the end of the feast."
Julian took the pie Lady Celesta had left with them and put a large slice on the plate beside him
along with green beans and mashed potatoes. In silence, Julian called out to his Aunt Mary to
join him at the dumb supper. Moments later a cold flutter moved across his cheek and a distinct
presence slid into the seat beside him. His aunt's sweet voice echoed through his mind, I'm with
you Julian. Thank you.
A silent sob racked through him as he heard the gentle cadence of his aunt's peaceful words.
Fiona reached out a hand to stroke his back, then she heard the words in her own head. Keep care
of him for me. And use that book often. I have hidden many secrets in it, Mary said. Fiona
nodded, tears welling in her eyes. She brushed her hand down to her swollen belly and felt
another hand join hers. He will be well. I promise. How I wish I could have met the child in
the mortal world. But he is very sweet and anxious to be with you.
Julian turned to Fiona, his eyes wide with shock. He too had heard the words his aunt had chosen
to share. He called out once more with his mind, Thank you Mary for all you taught me. I miss
you so much every day. But I know you will be happy in your next life. I love you.
I love you, came the silken reply. Now I want to eat. I haven't had a good pumpkin pie since I
passed!
Fiona and Julian exchanged an amused glance, shrugged, and served themselves as well. As they
glanced around the table, they recognized several of the covenmates in various states of joy and
sorrow. Some laughed and smiled while others sobbed uncontrollably, but a tinge of regret showed
in not a single eye. Each was celebrating the life of their beloved dead in their own way.
The room remained silent except for the clattering of silver against china until the large clock
at the corner of the room chimed twelve times, signaling that the New Year had begun. At the head
of the table, Lady Celesta rose. "Spirits who have joined us tonight, we thank you for your
presence here and are honored by it. The dumb supper has ended, but we move now to celebrate the
dawning New Year. You may stay if you wish, go if you must. Farewell and blessed be." The room
repeated the last and Lady Celesta raised her arms and eyes skyward. "Lady of darkness, thank you
for joining us tonight and protecting our dead as they move between the worlds. Farewell and
blessed be," she paused, and again, the gathered celebrants repeated the last before she spoke
again. "Lord of death, thank you for joining us tonight and protecting us from the uninvited
pirits. Farewell and blessed be." She paused another moment for the participants to repeat after
her once more, then turned and made a banishing pentagram in the North and continued around to the
other quarters. When she returned to the North, she lifted the natural wood broom by her place
and moved once more counterclockwise around the room, sweeping away the circle she had cast and
any lingering spirits not remaining by invitation or choice. "It is time to move to the living
room for a champagne toast. Don't be surprised if our invisible guests choose to stay with
us."
The sound of chairs sliding back and people shuffling to their feet filled the room. I don't mind
if I do, came Mary's voice in Fiona and Julian's heads and they laughed as the three of them moved
out to the living room, which was festively decorated with streamers in bright colors and Happy
New Year banners similar to the one hanging in Fiona and Julian's apartment. Fluted champagne
glasses were passed around the room and Lady Celesta hoisted her glass. "Happy New Year!" she
cried, and the others echoed the sentiment. Julian took a small sip as Fiona raised the glass
to her lips and kissed the outside of it, then sprinkled a drop on the floor.
Someone started festive dance music and the floor moved into a swirl of happy dancing Pagans. It
was also filled with the sensation of merry spirits who twirled their way around the room raising
up a bolt of energy that kept the celebrants moving. Ecstatic energy rolled through all of them
until finally Fiona could dance no more and moved to the side of the room to collapse in a
chair.
Julian saw her move to rest and followed her over. "Do you want to go home?" he asked.
"No we can stay. Go dance with Mary. I think she needs a last dance," Fiona said as a jaunty
waltz came on. Julian felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see no one there, but he felt
Mary standing in front of him, arms out. Julian stretched out his own arms and began to step
in the timeless rhythm his aunt had taught him as a child.
Fiona watched in amazement as several others in the room also danced with invisible spirits. A
chill came over her and she realized that several spirits had gathered around her. She moved to
protect the child inside her, then felt a deep calm come over her as she became aware that each
spirit was offering her son a blessing. From across the room, Julian watched the bright smile
spread across her lips and wondered what could be going on over there. Mary answered his
question and deep joy filled him. This world never ceased to amaze him.
The waltz ended and the clock struck one. I must be going, Mary said.
Julian nodded. Thank you for coming. It was good to… speak to you one last time.
I wouldn't have missed this for the world, my dear. Tell your father I miss him.
I will, he said. Julian made his way toward Fiona, who suddenly found herself no longer
surrounded by spirits.
"Well that was something," she said.
"I know. Mary told me what happened. She's leaving now."
Thank you for letting me know my child is ok, Fiona said.
You're welcome my dear. Take good care of that little one. He's going to be a handful, Mary
said. And then she was gone.
Julian moved back to the dining room, retrieved the humidor from the altar, and returned to Fiona,
helping her off the chair that she now called home. Fiona and Julian made their way out to the
coat rack and Julian helped her swirl the large cloak around her to keep her warm against the
chill night outside. They said their goodbyes to the other celebrants and stepped outside,
expecting a stark wind to be tearing around the building, but instead an eerie calm had descended
and Fiona and Julian were able to move easily to the PRT.
As they stepped inside the car and settled down for the ride back to their building, Fiona
realized they hadn't given baby names a moment's thought.
"We know it's a boy. We'd better start to make a list," she said.
"I propose the name Julian," he teased.
"Now, now, one of you is plenty," she said. "I was thinking of something a little more
godly."
"I will leave the list making to you," he said. "But I get veto power."
Fiona laughed and nodded, taking his hand and squeezing it tight in hers, fully aware that in
just 6 short weeks, the little boy would make his first appearance, whether or not she had a
name picked out.
MEAGAN'S SAMHAIN
by Kathryn Dyer ©1991
Once upon a time there was a little girl named Meagan. Meagan had a
mommy and a daddy. Meagan had a big brother named Corwin. Meagan also
had a beautiful black cat named Starweaver.
Meagan's mother made her bring Starweaver in every night. It was getting close to Halloween and some people were scared of black cats. Sometimes people who are scared do things they wouldn't do if they weren't so frightened. Meagan made sure that Starweaver came in at night where he would be safe and warm.
Meagan was excited about Halloween. Her parent's always held a big
party. People would come in all kinds of costumes and they would play
games. Many of them would come and go, leaving to go to other parties to show off their costumes. But there were a few people who stayed. After a certain time Meagan's parents would start cleaning up and making sure that their guests got home safely. The special guest would stay and help. Soon, only Meagan, her family and the special guests were left.
Now Meagan got even more excited. For Meagan and her family Halloween
was more than just a time to dress up and play games. It was also Samhaine. Meagan and her family were Pagans and Samhaine was an
important holiday for them. It was also their New Year. It celebrated
the end of the Summer season and the beginning of the Winter. Tonight,
her family and their friends would bid goodbye to the reign of the Lady
and bid welcome to Her Consort, who would hold rule over the winter
until the Lady came again in the spring at Beltaine.
This was the first year that Meagan was old enough to stay up and watch
the rituals. Her parents had been teaching her about many religions so
that when she grew up she would make a wise choice about how to worship. She was very excited about being allowed to watch the Samhaine ritual. She had taken a nap in the
afternoon so that she would be able to stay awake.
Meagan went into her mother's bathroom. Meagan's mother Elizabeth was
taking a bath in preparation. Elizabeth got out and put on her special
robe. She always wore this robe to rituals. Meagan knew that some covens wore robes and some wore special costumes and some wore everyday clothes and some didn't wear anything at all! Meagan's mother said, "Are you ready Meagan? Why don't you take a quick shower and then I have a surprise for you." "What is it?, asked
Meagan as she took off her Halloween costume. "You'll see when you're done," said her mother, "now hurry, you don't want to be late!"
Meagan turned on the water and stepped into the shower. And who should
jump in with her but Starweaver! "Momma!" Meagan cried, "Look! Star
wants to go to the ritual too!" Elizabeth laughed with her daughter, "Starweaver is more than welcome to come to the ritual. It wouldn't be
the first time for him." Meagan looked at her cat, "Why didn't you tell
me Star? You know all about it already!" She finished her shower and
dried off. Meagan's mother held out a beautiful new robe, just Meagan's
size. "Oh, Momma! A robe of my very own!", Meagan exclaimed. She felt
very happy and proud as she slipped it on. Then she followed her mother
out to the little grove in their backyard.
In their backyard was a little circle of trees. In the middle her
parents had put up a stone altar. Usually the altar was empty but
now there were things on it. Meagan stepped closer to see. Already on
the altar were two chalices or cups, a sword, a book, a vessel of water
and one of salt, a censor to hold incense and the God and Goddess
figures which usually stayed on the little altar in her parent's
bedroom. One of her parent's friends was placing a horned helm on the
altar. "Would you like to help decorate the Circle?" he asked. The
Circle had already been marked on the ground with a spear. Meagan asked, "What are we putting around the
Circle?" Meagan's brother Corwin said, "We are putting autumn flowers, pine-cones and pumpkins." She remembered having seen some pumpkins in the garage earlier and had wondered what they were for. Meagan and Corwin placed the flowers and pine-cones around the Circle. Some of the pumpkins were too
heavy for them to lift by themselves so the adults helped put them around too.
Soon the grove was ready. Everyone was wearing a robe. Meagan's mother
was wearing a white robe and so was their friend Jeremy. This year
Elizabeth and Jeremy had been chosen by the Coven to be Priestess and
Priest for the group. Each Coven has different rules about who is in
charge of things and what they wear. In the Coven that Meagan's parents
belonged to the Priest and Priestess wear white and the others may
choose from green, yellow, red or blue. Meagan's robe was green and
Corwin's robe was blue just like their father Michael's robe.
Michael would tease Meagan and Corwin saying, "I wear blue so that no
one can see me in the shadows." He would always smile when he said it. Some of the Coven members wore beautiful jewelry. Jennifer was wearing a silver circlet and a
pentagram necklace. Robert wore a torque, which is a kind of neck decoration, and several rings with funny writing on them. Meagan recognized some of the letters as runes. She was studying runes with her father.
Soon a horn sounded and the ceremony started. Meagan paid close
attention. Her favorite part came at the end which was called Cakes and
Ale. Everyone ate little cakes and drank mead or juice. They all sat
around and talked about the things they were studying and what they
would like to learn about later. Meagan asked about the incense they had used. Jennifer told her that it was made by a Coven
member who couldn't be there that night. She said that they would grind together different herbs to make incense that they burned on a special kind of charcoal. Their Coven had a different kind of incense for every kind of ceremony. Meagan remembered that her parent's had special incense for the house too. They would burn it during the day and it made the house smell good.
Sometimes Meagan's friends would ask her why her house always smelled so good. Meagan had to be careful sometimes about what she said to her
friends. Her parents had told her that not everyone liked the way that
Pagans worship. It was better for her to be careful about what she said
until she knew how her friends felt about other religions. She would not want to make her friends upset or to make them feel bad. Meagan had one friend, Cindy, that she could talk about her religion to. Cindy and her family were Christians but her mother was also an herbalist and didn't mind the things that Cindy learned about at Meagan's house. Meagan's
parents would trade herbs with Cindy's mother and Meagan sometimes heard them talking about religion together.
When the ritual was over everyone helped to clean up the grove. Meagan
was very happy to have been allowed to stay up. Her mother said that she could come to the next ritual which would be a Full Moon ritual. They would also have a guest who was interested in the Pagan religion. Some Covens have rules that their rituals
cannot be spoken of to those who have not promised to keep them secret. Some of these rules came from the times when Pagans were outlawed or hurt by some Christians. The Coven that Meagan's family belonged to did not have any rules like this but they were still very careful about who they shared their rituals with. Some people are afraid of Pagans and as you know, people who are afraid sometimes do strange things.
Meagan went inside as people were leaving to go home. She took off her
robe and got into her nightgown. Elizabeth came to tuck her into bed.
"I'll go put your robe in the place we keep ours so it will be ready for the next ceremony. Did you enjoy yourself tonight?" she asked as Meagan snuggled under the blanket. "Oh yes, Momma. It was wonderful. I think I want to be a Pagan when I grow up." murmured Meagan. Her mother laughed, "Well, now is not the time to decide such an important issue. I think you can wait a few years. You may change your mind later. Sleep tight and dream well little one." She kissed Meagan good
night and turned out her light. Meagan sighed as she thought about the good time she had had at the party and at the ritual. Just then Starweaver decided to jump up on her bed. As Meagan curled up on her side to go to sleep Starweaver nestled into the pillow beside her and began to purr.
It had been a good day.
First Esbat
By jiaz
When I call to you
and see the clouds part,
When I reach for you
and you cradle my heart,
When I pray to you
and feel new love,
Lord and Lady
below and above.
When I touch a tree
See a bird fly
follow a cloud
across the sky,
dip my foot
in a running brook
and take a moment
for a second look,
I know you are here
I know you are there.
I ask not why, nor how
nor where.
Perhaps I should,
perhaps I will.
for now I simply stand as still
as I can.
Wise Women
By Arianne ShadowWalker
They traveled the land
Filled with care and concern
Caring for the earth
And living to learn.
In villiages and towns
Listening to each plea
They shared their wisdom
Cared for each need.
In tribes they were loved
Their knowledge revered
Admired by everyone
Never were they feared.
Then came the changes
Tossing Circles for Cross
And the new Path said,
Our gain is your loss.
Through each home and hearth
If even one herb was found
The Wise Woman was taken
And forcibly bound.
Friends turned to enemies
She was given no quarter
This sometimes extended
To the Wise Woman's daughter.
Offtimes there was a 'trial'
Involving several of her peers
But her cries of innocence
Were met with laughter and jeers.
No fairy tale story
No 'off with her head'
The usual cries were
'Let's burn her instead!'
She was led through the town
Spat on, reviled, cursed
Seeing former friends do this
Made the poor woman feel worse.
Sometimes beaten, or tortured
Placed beneath heavy stones
Her cries to her Lady
Earned several broken bones.
The worst times of all
When facing the flames
Staring boldly ahead as
Her friends called her names.
As flames licked her body
They saw upraised eyes
Fists clenched with pain
Yet she called to the skies.
"My Lord and My Lady,
Though convicted by lies
I will never forsake
The Craft of the Wise!"
For all those Wise Women
Watching down from above
We salute you here below
Remember, you too are loved.
(c) Arianne, July 4th, 1997.
Feel free to place this in your BOS if you so choose.
HYMN TO APHRODITE
By Gawaine C. Ross
In a chariot drawn by centaurs Nageswari burns and sways,
In her hands she holds a comet, lightning snakes and cosmic rays,
Her attendants leap about her, Firebirds with diamond eyes,
Doing a tango with the Sun, it's Power she personifies.
Invincible Radiant Woman Lioness, Roarer in the Flame,
Urania, Sekhmet, Sunna, rider of the hurricanes,
Oh Bride of the Sun, oh face of Glory splitting the thunderheads,
Grant us displays of Northern Lights, it's You I want to wed.
In a gentler mood befriend us, sparkling on the ocean's swell,
Rising from the foam as Venus in a pink and golden shell,
Attended by the Seasons, Eos, come to Earth and step ashore
With castanets and moans of bliss, oh Flora, it's You I adore.
Show me forever, Aphrodite, dreams and visions of You,
Show me feral and secret temples of Frigga high and true.
Salacia, Aurora, Philommeides, you melt glaciers with your heat,
Victoria and Gloria, paradise blossoms each time you speak.
The seven sacred rivers of truth will set the world alight,
Ganga, Ushas, Voluptas, Narmada, soft as a summer night,
Anima Mundi, serpent embracer, river goddess of the Nile,
Elatus, Corona, Cunctipotent, banish evil with a smile.
And when your vision fades away and Hecate comes at last,
There you'll find the Rainbow Bridge, and Iris in the grass,
Cascades splashing and whirlpool patterns in Her galactic gaze,
As Nuit she'll envelop you and start another blaze.
Oh never turn your face away, I pant to brush your lips,
From your hair electricity surges into your fingertips.
Adora, Lava, Erato, Nyx, oh Beauty everywhere,
Celestial dancing maidens, take me if you dare!
Abigail
By Mystickally
Abigail Meyers was racing along I-80 from Erie, Pennsylvania to Long Island, New York. The
scenery calmed her, as she relived her life's hardest lessons, over and over again in her mind.
She and Shaene were rushing back that September day because Abby's Grandmother, the woman who
raised her, was dying. Nana had been sick for several years, needing blood transfusions every
month, then more often, until recently when she needed them every 2 weeks. Abby had a hard time
trying to figure out what she should be feeling. She had come up with every excuse in the book
not to have to go back to New York...EVER. Why should she feel anything for a woman who had
constantly beat her and told her she was fat and ugly? The fact of the matter was that she didn't
seem to feel anything. But going home was the right thing to do. Her Grandmother had started to
change as she got weaker. The last time Abby was home, she pulled Shaene aside and asked him to
"take good care of Abby." Shaene said of course he would, and she smiled at him, patting his head,
and telling him he was a good boy. Despite her apathy for her family, it meant a lot to Abby
that Nana approved of Shaene. Although she knew Nana wouldn't be around much longer then, she
had no idea how soon, only one month later, she'd be rushing home after a phone call informing
her it wouldn't be long now.
Abby's intuition was telling her that they wouldn't make it to the hospital in time. Her instincts
were well honed. She kept trying to reassure herself that they would get there in time, but it
didn't bring her any comfort. Her uncle, the man who raised her and whom she felt in her heart
was her true father, regardless of biology, had told her a few days ago to stay put for now, not
to rush home. The next day he phoned her to tell her to come as quickly as she possibly could.
This 8 hour drive would be long and tedious, especially with 7 cats in tow. When they finally got
to the hospital, they circled around for an hour looking for a parking space. Entering the waiting
room, her father walked up to her. This man she hardly knew, had abandoned her to his Mother when
Abby was just two months old. All he said to her was "You took too long to get here." Nana had
died during that hour they were looking for a parking space.
The days after Nana's death were hectic. Abby planned for the arrival of her two brothers and
older sister. Their plane would be arriving at Kennedy Airport from Georgia. She looked forward
to seeing them. Abby hadn't seen them in an awfully long time, and feeling uncomfortable around
the rest of the family, this gave her a great excuse to get out of the house. They spent the
first hours of the funeral in an awkward silence. The smell of potpourri and incense gave Abby
an uncomfortable feeling. She remembered the time when she was a young child, when they had
buried her Godmother . The smells haunted her, and she still got scared whenever she smelled
potpourri. Every once in awhile, she'd be minding her own business when she would suddenly smell
those dead and crushed flowers. She was told it meant that the deceased had just visited her.
Not fully understanding or accepting death, Abby would always cower and run to the nearest adult.
Even as an adult, it gave her the creeps. She always put thoughts of death aside, and try to
ignore it...potpourri included. Abby was still confused about death. She understood it, but she
was terrified by it.
The day of the funeral ended with hysterical fits of nervous laughter, when Abby and a group of
the younger relatives sat and chatted, laughing at the slightest things. In the midst of the
funeral heaviness they had a good time. When they got home that night, Abby,
Shaene, and all of
the younger relatives got together to watch videos. One of those videos caught Abby's attention
right away. It was about a group of girls at a Catholic school who had been labeled "witches"
and began performing rituals, and spells (to change hair color and to help levitate). They spoke
about their reverence of nature. Shaene's background in Religious History and Science Fiction
enabled him to explain to Abby that Witchcraft is real, rather than just some fairy tale myth,
or Hollywood fabrication.
Abby's interest in witchcraft was piqued. Upon their return to Erie, she began to research Pagan
beliefs. There were many websites with a lot of information. She went through a lot of web sites
in a matter of days, and when she found a few lists of suggested readings, she went straight out
to get several books by Scott Cunningham and Silver Ravenwolf. Cunningham came highly recommended
by many, especially for "newbies". People claimed he was the best for those who knew absoutely
nothing about Paganism. After dragging herself through one of his books, Abby decided that she
disagreed with much that he had to say, and that as a beginner his books were too dry to keep her
interested. When Abby started reading Ravenwolf's she believed she had finally found her path.
Abby learned Witchcraft is a part of a religion and a way of life. Some call themselves
Wiccans,
while others just dub themselves Pagan. No matter the argument, both regard Nature as a Supreme
Being. She absolutely fell in love with that idea! "God isn't a man. God isn't just one powerful
being. God is all around us, in the forms of the Air we breathe, the Water we drink, the Earth we
walk upon, and the Sun's fiery rays that shine down on us. Nature does have a mind of her own,
but rather than trying to control her, we should help her. Nature allows humans to live within
her. We should be thankful. Everything makes sense!" Abby had never been able to believe there
was only one Man that created Us and everything around us. She didn't buy the teachings that
humans are born sinners and must beg for the forgiveness of some All-Power Creator. Sinful for
being born? Inconceivable! One idea Abby had a harder time absorbing was Reincarnation. She
didn't buy it. Maybe it was just too many years of being taught about Heaven and Hell. She was
at a point in her life when she didn't believe in either Heaven or Hell, she thought that maybe
death was a final thing? Yet, she couldn't bring herself to believe that either. She was scared.
Her focus centered around studying Reincarnation. After a few more weeks she still didn't have
enough information to know what she truely thought about it. By the end of the month, Abby's
research had slowed to a crawl. She began researching the Pagan holiday called
Samhain, which is
commonly known as Hallowe'en. She felt like she should do something to celebrate, but she wasn't
quite sure what. It is the beginning of the Pagan year. It is a time when Pagans remember those
that have passed on. Some people take this opportunity to communicate with the dead. Apparently,
this is the time when the veil between the deceased and the living is weakest. Abby couldn't
understand why people would want to celebrate such a holiday. "Celebrate death? That just
sounds too crazy." Abby decided that she is not yet ready to celebrate Samhain. Rather than
trying to put together an amateur-ish ritual or attend a Samhain celebration without fully
understanding the meanings and symbolism, she decided instead to take that night to commune
with Nature. She and Shaene lay in each other's arms on the beach, just looking up at the stars,
letting the dark sky and ocean sounds relax them. A lot of memories came flooding back for Abby.
Thoughts of death consumed her mind. She had lost a good friend to a swimming pool accident. She
lost another good friend to a car accident. Three distant relatives and her Godmother had died
on or around Samhain. Looking back to her childhood, she had even lost three other friends around
the same time, and each passing was always within 3 years of each other. She always felt anger
and sadness around this time of year. At age 10, she had even experienced her first "female cycle"
and had gotten very sick from it: vomiting in the middle of the hallway at school, and she had
also experienced 3 days of paralysis because of it! Abby was NOT very happy about this time of
year…and didn't feel like celebrating.
The days before and after the holiday found Abby doing more research. She had just begun
studying feline diseases, and was also possessed by thoughts on Samhain. "What is it really?
Why is it such a big deal??" All the while, as Abby did her studies in animal science, she had
thoughts of Samhain in the back of her mind. One night, realizing she had too much going on in
her mind at one time, Abby went outside to clear her mind and collect her mail. Outside she
encountered the sweetest little cat! He was wandering around the entrance of their apartment
building. Abby began asking around for the cat's owner, and was told that another person had
been feeding him, but it was otherwise homeless. She tried to walk away, but the looks of
love-at-first-sight from the cat melted Abby's heart. Abby, exasperated, scooped the little cat
in her arms and brought her home. There was three feet of snow on the ground and more was
falling! She wouldn't have left the cat out there even if there was an owner!
He was a gorgeous cat, and way too sweet. He had van markings-white with a tiger spot on his
stomach and tiger stripes on his forehead and tail. Shaene fell in love with him instantly. The
little guy had a cold, and when they secluded him from the other cats, he reacted really badly
to a poster hung up over the bed. It was a head-shot of a cat with the foulest expression on
her face. The poor little guy took one look at it and started to slink away, growling and
hissing, with his ears completely flat against his head. Abby immediately took it down. To calm
him down, they tried playing various styles of music and finally named him:
Catsby. He seemed
to be really fond of big band music, and after listening to Glenn Miller, Abby and Shaene were
reminded of The Great Gatsby, and so Catsby's name was born! He is the purrfect addition to
their little family! Catsby was kept secluded from the other cats. They had him checked out by
the vet as well as neutered. The few days he had stayed with them, Shaene and Abby had become
completely attached to Catsby. He had even established himself as her familiar! He was drawn
to Abby's altar, he would sit on all of Abby's research. Catsby would sleep on her books, and
would always jump into her lap, purring so loudly that the birds outside would pause for a
little bit to listen to Catsby's singing. What joy he brought into Abby's life! Their bliss
was interrupted by the phone call from the vet. "Catsby has Feline Leukemia." Abby was
devastated! She'd have to face yet another death, and she didn't know how to deal with it!
When would this cat die? Should she even get to know this cat? Isn't Nature supposed to be
Awesome? Then why is she bringing her this dying cat? Anger and sorrow again possessed them.
She and Shaene just couldn't bring themselves to talk about it without fighting.
Catsby had been at the vet's office to be neutered at the time they heard the news. Abby wasn't
even sure if they'd bring him home. If he's going to die anyway, why not just put him out of
his misery? Then the vet's office called again. "Do you want to have him put down?"
HYMN TO PAN
By Gawaine C. Ross
Before Morrocco was Roman you see,
The music of Pan was African jazz.
At the Wednesday night prayer meeting
The percussion discussion of Mingus goes on,
Getting' all jumpy and sweaty inside.
This is the time of the passionate stranger,
Of bullfights and trumpets, of magick and lust.
You should see that goat high steppin',
Playin' his pipes for centaurs and satyrs
While rivers of beer and buckets of wine
Splash the maenads snaking with joy.
Seven black dancers leap on the cliff,
Five different rythymns make them alive,
It's music that spears them, one at a time!
One says "It's crazy!" one says "It's love!"
Three new rhythms awaken the dead.
Fertility spirits moan and shout
As flutes and oboes evoke ancestors.
A soprano echoes a baritone's wail.
The sky man wears a cloak of feathers,
The earth woman wears a skirt of grass.
A neighboring tribe joins the fray
Entering the cave with torches aloft
Wearing masks of stallions and mares.
The god who grants all desires arrives
Riding a winged golden lion
As twenty-eight drummers climax at once.
I can believe that joy is infectious,
I can believe that music is life.
I'm going to jump and roar my approval,
She's going to ride a broad-chested centaur,
The people will tussle a long hungry python
When Pan calls us in the middle of the night.
