SECTION III - STORY TIME

Wicce's Tarot Corner - Rev. Gina M.
Abby - Mystickally
Mystic Moon - ~Rain
Michael and Beth Chronicles - Selene SilverWind
Mewsings from The Ally - Mystickally
Faery Heart - DreamDancer
Psyche the Heroine - Luna Willowsong
Samhain Word Search - Isha ArrowHawk
Meagan's Mabon - Kathryn Dyer
My Friend The Tree - chapter seven - "T"
The Earth is Our Mother - Savannah* Moon
"Teen Witch Kit" - Review by ~Rain
She Radiates - Savannah* Moon
To Dad (The Secular Humanist), From Witch Daughter? - Kyra Finch Z.
Umbrella Trees and Heart Shaped Leaves - iris ray
Weird Halloween - DreamDancer
Windows of Life - Part 1 - Cassaundra RedHawk

Wicce's Tarot Corner
By Rev. Gina M. Pace

Greetings, everyone! My name is Rev. Gina M. Pace. I am a pagan minister and a professional tarot card consultant. You may have seen my website, Wicce's Tarot Collection (http://www.wicce.com). I've been working with the tarot for over thirteen years now, and have successfully integrated it with my Wiccan and pagan studies. Beginning with this issue of Cauldrons and Broomsticks, I will be presenting various and different ways that you, as Wiccans and pagans, can use the tarot in your spiritual studies. While the two are not directly related, tarot and Wicca/Paganism can work very well together indeed.

In this month's issue, I would like to discuss the need for, and one way to, use tarot divination to determine the "rightness," or karmic correctness, of performing spells or magickal workings of any kind. There are many Wiccan and pagan texts on the market, a lot of which are very good, that talk about how you can use ritual to perform spells and magick while in circle. A few, just a few, of these explain that before you create and work any spell or magick, you should use divination to "check" and see if the work you want to perform is correct and if it will be to the greatest good. The simple truth is this: ALL spell work and ALL ritual magick carries with it the responsibility of "checking" the karmic repercussions before actually performing the work. Many times I have had people ask me, "Why didn't my spell work?" If the work you wish to perform is not for 
the greatest good of all concerned/involved, then your spell will not work. If you are lucky, all it will be is a waste of your time and energy. There is, 
however, no need to waste your time and energy, because we have many different types of divination available to us, as witches and Pagans, that will allow us to check before we perform the spell. The few books that remind us to do this don't really give enough specific information as to how we are to divine this information. What, then, should we do?

Last month, my circle mates and I had gathered to celebrate Mabon, the Autumnal Equinox. One of our circle members has been going through a lot of physical health problems and at the same time many financial and situational concerns have cropped up for her. We had previously discussed performing a healing ritual during our time in circle so as to pass along as much healing energy as we could to her. We determined that what we would do was to perform a tarot reading while in circle and ascertain whether it was the "correct" thing to do for her, karmically.

Being that we were doing this work during an Equinox ritual, we first purified the space and cast the circle, inviting in the elements, etc. We then honored the season and celebrated the Shabbat as we would normally have done. Near the end, at the time we customarily would have wrapped things up and had our "cakes and wine" (well we usually end up with a regular potluck feast LOL) we took a few extra moments while in sacred space and I brought out my tarot deck.

I began by stating right away what it was that we were looking for, which was to determine if we should perform a healing ritual for the missing member of our group who has been going through so much in her life. We asked that the Goddess and God be with us in this time, and guide us through our choices of cards and give us clear understanding of what we would see. We were all agreed to this. I asked the cards, "Please show us what we need to know about the past that has created or led up to this current situation for this person." I then shuffled the deck very thoroughly, and selected one card, not looking at what it was. I held my card in my lap, and passed the deck to the person on my left (sun wise, or clockwise). He, too, shuffled the deck and drew one out, then passed it on to the next person. In this fashion, the deck went around the full circle. When I had the deck back in my possession, I set it aside for the moment and asked 
everyone to turn their cards over. We placed them on the ground in the center of the circle so that they formed a circular layout. Each person "free associated" to describe their own card. I say "free associated" because, in this case, in this manner of reading, you do not need to have memorized the meanings of the cards. In fact, a person with no experience whatsoever can use this just as well and with just as accurate results. Within circle, and in this manner, the key is to use free association to note the "feeling" you get from the card. After each person had described what their card "told" them, I used my narrative abilities to form a sort of larger picture of the situation pulling all of their experiences into one theme. This is easier to do than it sounds; once people have already stated what they feel from the card, it's a matter of weaving it all into one story.

Once we understood what the cards were telling us had occurred in the past for this missing member of ours, I picked up the deck once more (leaving the cards that were laid out where they were) and began shuffling again. "We now ask to be shown what we need to know about the current situation of this person," I said. Once again, I drew one card and passed the deck around. Everyone drew a card and we laid them out in the circular pattern, this time creating a second layer on top of the first one. We used the same free association procedure to build a story piece by piece. By now we could already see patterns in the works being shown to us. Universal energies and karmic patterns which had been set in place 
earlier in life by the missing member of our group were involved in what was happening to her now. We could almost guess at this point what the outcome would be, but resolved to complete the reading anyway.

The final run with the cards came and I asked once more, "Please show us that which we need to see regarding the outcome of this situation for this person."  We each drew our cards and placed them on the circular layout. We could see that indications were hopeful that the person would finally come to an understanding of where they were going with their situation. There would be a reckoning, but it would be what was necessary and prescribed by the universal laws of karma in order that the person come to terms and break free of the cycle of behavior they had begun. The message was clear: no healing was recommended at this time. 

This is one of the hardest laws of karma and one of the murkiest areas of 
positive magick: Sometimes what seems like a positive thing (nobody ever 
considers healing to be negative!) is actually not in the best interests of the 
person you wish to heal. In this case, we were getting very clear signals that to help this person now with magick would be to prevent her from learning what she needed to learn in order to break free of a larger pattern in her life. We might make her feel better in the short run, but harm her in the long run. It is the hardest thing in the world to sit back and watch someone you love fall, without trying to protect them; sometimes it is the thing you must do.

Since our circle that night had six people in it, we used a total of eighteen 
cards in our reading, in three levels of six cards each. However, the beauty of this reading method is that you can perform this exact technique with as few as two people or as many as thirteen. If you have more than thirteen people in your circle, then another method must be devised, as too many cards pulled out of the deck in one reading takes away the ability of the deck to give different answers. More than thirteen people and there aren't enough cards left.

If you are a working solitary, you can still use this method, only I would 
recommend pulling two cards for each position and working with the two cards to see "two sides of the coin" for past, present and future parts of the situation in question.

This reading spread can be performed to determine the rightness of any kind of magickal working, not just a healing. It can be used at any time, not just Sabbaths or Esbats. I would recommend if you are going to use a tarot divination to check the rightness of a magickal working, that you purify your space and cast your circle first and do the reading while in sacred space; this lends significance and focus to your reading while protecting your energies. 

After we completed the reading, we gave our thanks to the Goddess and God for their guidance and released the elements, opening the circle and sharing in our feast for the Equinox. We were all quite subdued, but at the same time, felt that we had really connected with the energies we needed to, and so there was a solid sense of "rightness" to the evening.

A description of this spread with detailed instructions on how to perform it, including a diagram, will be posted at http://www.wicce.com/layouts.html

Abby
By Mystically

Smiling, Abby plopped down on the floor, cross-legged, directly in front of Greg. She sat there silently and stared at Greg.

"You know, someone will eventually walk in and find us." Greg stated.

"Nope they won't!" Abby responded. "There is a campus shindig in about 15 minutes. Every building must be completely empty and every entrance is guarded. I just happen to know the person guarding this door."

Greg stared back at the smiling Abby with disbelief and confusion written all over his face. They sat facing one another in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Abby started to laugh hysterically.

Greg, still stuck with a look of complete confusion on his face, helplessly watched as Abby began crying from the laughter.

"Are you going crazy or what?!" Greg snapped.

Abby rose to her feet suddenly and answered, "You know at first I wondered that myself, but I think the answer is pretty darn obvious."

Greg opened his mouth to start speaking but stopped himself when Abby started pacing furiously in front of him. Greg's eyes widened as he watched her go back in forth in front of him.

"You know, it's true what they say about only the people you care about the most in life will be the ones to hurt you the worst. And you did, Greg. You really hurt me. This wasn't just you defending yourself. You were messing with MY life!"

"That's why I tried to get you to run with me, remember? I wanted to get you away from it all. You were hurting from Seth's death. I wanted to save you from all the crap going on."

"And when I didn't run, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you confess?"

Greg looked away and his voice softened.

"I don't know. Why do any of us do anything we do during times of crisis or stress? I just don't know. I was numb."

Abby sighed and turned away from Greg. Greg interrupted the silence.

"I didn't do it intentionally. And I tried to spare you from all that when I tried to get you to run away. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"But Greg, you DID hurt me. And then you wouldn't own up to it. You lied to me. Your intentions may have been my best interests at heart, but that's not what you did. That's not what you did."

Abby sighed and slowed her pace. 

"It took me a long time to get where I am today Greg. I thought I knew who I was back then. I thought I knew what I was going to do with my life. Then everything happened, and suddenly I didn't know which end was up. It's like I lost a big part of myself. I lost two of my best friends in one instant."

Abby paused before going on.

"But hating you hasn't done me any good either. I hate being negative about anything, and I especially hate feeling so angered at one person."

"What are you saying?"

"I miss you Greg. I can't forget what you did, and I hate and can't forgive what you did, but I don't hate you anymore. And I am forgiving you. We had some good times you know? And those are the memories I am going to hold on to."

Greg held on to his confusion and stared at Abby.

"Wait, now I am REALLY confused. You forgive me? That's it? No torturing, no murder?"

Abby flashed her famous smile and shook her head no.

"We need to move on Greg. And I have, but with you back in my life all of a sudden, I think we needed to emphasize that."

Abby untied Greg.

"You didn't really think I was going to do anything to you, did you?"

Greg laughed and replied,

"AJ, I wouldn't put anything passed you. You can do anything."

They parted ways in peace and joined the festivities on campus.

)O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O(

The next day, Abby and the group met for brunch at a local diner. She explained what happened and everyone's jaw hit the ground.

"If I had known you were going to trap him, only to let him go without a scratch, I wouldn't have watched your back!" Cal exclaimed.

So what happened? You just told him that you had forgiven him? That's it?" Kat asked.

Abby answered, "Well, I told him he sucked for doing what he did. He explained why he did it, I told him I couldn't forgive what he did, but I did forgive him because we had to move on. And that was it."

Abby looked back and forth at her bewildered friends, then laughed.

"It's cool you guys, really. I'm feeling better now."

Cari-lynn walked in and saw Abby with the group and decided to walk over to say hello. After all the hello's were out of the way, Cal asked,

"So has she filled you in on what happened between her and Greg last night?"

Cari's eyes grew larger. "What?!" Cari pulled up a chair and sat at the end of the table.

Abby laughed before answering. Cari couldn't believe it.

"Are you serious?! Wow ... after everything that happened, after everything you told me ... after you told me how you felt about being lied to! I didn't think you'd ever do that."

Abby shrugged.

"It's no big deal. Look, you all saw how miserable I was when we found out about Greg being here. I moved on with my life but I never got over it. There was this negative energy floating in the air and it was weighing my down. And it's obviously weighing poor Cal down too."

They all turned toward Cal, who had his head sung down and close to the table as he banged his chin on the edge of the table. Everyone laughed while Cal sighed in disbelief.

"Seriously, I am fine. In fact, I am feeling so much better. And the thick air that was surrounding me feels a lot thinner. I'm good to go!"

Cari's eyes turned to the front of the diner. Everyone else followed her gaze to find Greg standing there, waiting for a table with a couple of people. They all watched Greg pass by them, wide-eyed stares from everyone but Cal who held his glare, and Abby who smile slightly at Greg. Greg returned the smile then went to his table.

Abby reached over and smacked Cal on his arm.

"Ow!"

"Stop that!"

"But -"

"But nothing! Let it go Cal. It's over. Please, I'm fine and we have a bigger battle to fight now."

Cal sighed and shrugged.

The group chatted and laughed, and for the first time in a long time, Abby was back to her old self. They talked about what to do at the next rally or demonstration. As they started to gather their things and head off, Cal dragged Abby to the side.

Cal whispered, "Abby, are you sure you're cool with Greg?"

"Yes Cal. For the millionth time ..."

"Well there is something I think you should know."

"Ugh, now what?"

"Greg is a very manipulative, lying, egotistical, self-absorbed guy."

"Tell me something I don't already know Cal. But he was your friend too. You know there is good in him somewhere."

"Yeah, as long as he was getting what he wanted. He was always like that."

"Hey, do you think he's happy about the fact that him losing his job has turned into a religious freedom crusade? No way! He hates not having 100% of the attention focused on him. And I'm sure he realizes that it won't be long until they bring up his drug addiction from the past."

"If you know all this Abby, then why did you forgive him?"

"Because he needs our help right now. And the past is the past. And hey, I'm tired of being pissed off every time I think about him. I want this over and done with, and that's not going to happen if I am hating a guy that is going to be around 24/7."

Abby reassured Cal that she was content with the situation and urged Cal to either forgive or forget the past. It was about time that she focused in on her future rather than hiding from the past. Her past had changed her into a completely new person, but rather than celebrating the person she became, she spent her time mourning who she was. Abby was finally ready to really move on with her life, and this time, she wasn't going to hide behind her inhibitions. Abby had learned not to forgive those that lied to her, and while she wasn't going to back away from that, she also wasn't going to let betrayals get the better of her. She wasn't sure that Cal would be so easy to convince about the situation, but he did promise her that he would not harass their former friend; nor would he think the worst of him all the time. It was a major step for them, and Abby could already feel the tension in the air subside.

)O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O( )O(

Abby and Shaene decided to sleep in the next day. They thought that they deserved the day off to relax and just be with one another. However, at around 11 in the morning, they were startled awake by Catsby, who stood at the edge of their bed, hacking. He was obviously having a lot of difficulty in breathing. Catsby was very congested and getting worse by the minute. Abby sent Shaene out to get some children's nose drops, in hopes of helping to clear his nasal passages.

This wasn't the first time that Catsby had this problem. Only a few months earlier, Catsby had just come off of a treatment often used for cats with Feline Leukemia that didn't show any signs of being sick. They all thought Catsby was doing rather well and were very optimistic. Suddenly, he stopped eating and had a "bad cold". A rush to the Vet's showed that Catsby had a horrible case of pneumonia. That was the end of Catsby's healthy days. After one night at the hospital, Catsby came home and was seemingly better, but he wouldn't eat. He became very finicky, and only ate shredded, cooked chicken and homemade chicken broth, and a brand of expensive cat food called "Sheba". His attitude changed too. Catsby wouldn't purr anymore, at least not very often. He stopped responding with his loud "Meorrw!" when spoken to, and no longer came running when they called his name. Abby and Shaene got him through the pneumonia, which was a miracle according to the doctors. He was weaker, thinner and less vocal, but otherwise doing well. Shaene remained very optimistic, but Abby worried ...

Abby held their dear Catsby in her arms and watched him, talked to him. Something suddenly hit her, and she gently whispered to Catsby,

"If it gets too much, you just go. We love you. It's OK. Just go ahead and go."

And Abby repeated these words over and over until Shaene got back. As they prepared to give Catsby the medication, he peacefully crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge.

It was a few seconds before they realized it. Abby suddenly stopped Shaene from trying to put the drops in Catsby's nose, then silently looked into his eyes.

"No!"

Abby responded with a nod.

"No!"
"Do you want me to make sure? I'll go get my stethoscope."

Shaene silently responded with a nod. Abby ran to grab her stethoscope, her eyes filled with flowing tears. She came back and checked for a heartbeat, but heard only silence.

Wrapped in his favorite blanket, Abby and Shaene drove to the Veterinary Hospital and dropped off Catsby's body. The Staff knew them all too well, and they all loved Catsby so very dearly. Everyone greeted Abby and Shaene with tears, carefully cradled Catsby's body, and disappeared behind the hospital doors. A Technician returned with Catsby's blanket and handed it to Abby.

The rest of the day was a complete blur for Shaene, who was totally grief-stricken. Abby was numb and went through the motions. Shaene was paralyzed from the loss; he couldn't function at all. Abby tried her best to keep herself as together as she could. She and Shaene spent the day with the cats for comfort, but it was like the entire house took a day of silence to grieve. The once dark and cloudy sky suddenly turned bright blue, and it was almost as if Nature was trying to cheer everyone up. Abby, Shaene and the cats spent the day together, quietly comforting one another, and remembering The Great Catsby...

The Great Catsby RIP October 9, 1998.
http://www.arisamoon.net/nip.html - Memorial Page

"Mystic Moon"
By ~Rain

Chapter 3 Continues...

Previously, Gwen invites Jane to move, in to save money. The day Jane moves in Gwen's computer is freezing. Jane suggests, "use Magick". Gwen replies... 

"You can't just use Magick all the time Jane, things have to, work themselves out."

"Sure, you have patients for that." Jane smirked

"OK smart ass, lesson two, how to caste a circle! Practice makes perfect, help me pick this thing up." We both struggled, but we picked up the computer and placed in the center of the living room. " Next go in my room and get my book, its covered in black cloth, with a pentacle on it. Also get my water that says 'Full Moon,' and a piece of chalk. Next to the goddess statue is a stick; grab that too." 

"OK, Book, water, chalk, and weird stick thingy." she said, handing me each item carefully.

"Its my Wand, a tool used in Magick, all of these are tools. Now take this chalk walk around us, draw a circle. " I pointed my finger to show her the best length the circle should be.

"OK don't we need candles?" Jane asked me in an unsure voice.

"Duh, I forgot the candles, OK um lets try all purpose white, 4 Tapers seem appropriate." I said talking to myself.

Jane answered, "I'll get them I saw them by the statue," she got up and came back with the 4 candles and holders. She put them down; we made a circle with them around the computer. Then, I went to my Alter in my room, and brought back my special votive candles I use for the elements. I placed them down near the computer, Jane picked them up." I remember you told me about them in the directions once." They were labeled on the bottom, so she put them in the correct directions.

"Wow, your catching on, really quickly! OK lets start." We light the candles and started the circle. Everything went smoothly. I did most of the work while Jane observed, and lent power. I could tell the Energy and Visualization techniques I showed her a few days ago helped greatly. Jane caught on really fast. Practice makes perfect. I was surprised, I though she would laugh or something, but she kept her cool the whole time. 

After the ritual, we grounded. I put on some warm tea, and we talked. The tea brewed and so did our conversation! After our chat we decided to clean up.

"OK Jane, help me pick up this heavy computer, will you." She quickly aided me with this task. We picked it up and put it on the table. "Now for the moment of glory!" We turned it on and went online. We went to Wicca Web sites I showed Jane the best on-line stores and chat rooms. The next thing I knew, it was 11:00 PM. We both decided to call it a night. She helped me carry all the tools back in my room. She asked who the goddess statue was. I told her it was the Egyptian goddess Isis. She also asked if she could borrow one of my books to read before bed. I gave her Cunningham's, Wicca; a guide for the solitary practitioner. I was very happy that all turned out well. Oh and if your wondering about the computer, we haven't had any problem since, no freezing, none !


Chapter 4 " Old Witch"

Jane moved in a little over two weeks ago, I don't know why I felt so weird at the beginning. Actually now that I think about it, I was a little lonely before she moved in. I went for a job interview yesterday morning and it went well. I looked at the stove, the clock read 15 minutes to 8. I turned on some tea and sat down at the kitchen table. My thoughts were focused on my dream last night. It was so very real. He came back, that mysterious man. He is haunting me. I placed my hands over my forehead and yawned. 

Just then Jane came running out of the bathroom screaming " Spider!" She kept repeating it over and over each time more loudly than the next. I ran to her, took her hands and told her its ok. " It is ugly and big and ewww!" she screamed that right in my ear. 

"Ok I'll get the bug spray." I quickly approached the towel closet grabbed the spray and walked to the bathroom. I felt my heart race, knowing that one of us wasn't going to live. Slowly inch-by-inch, I felt my knees tremble more and more. There was the door, about one foot in front of me. I felt something touch my shoulder; I screamed and made a quick turn, only to see my roommate still in her bathrobe, she was also screaming. 

"Damn it, Gwen!" Jane said.

"Hey your the one who shocked me!" I stated still in shock. 

I burst open the bathroom door, there it was, in the corner. It wasn't a spider; it was a Hungarian tassel that I got from my cousin Cher. I put it in the bathroom because it matched my toothbrush holder. 

"Jane, its a tassel!" 

"It is??" she replied with a relieving sigh. 

"Jane, how could you not see that? " I glanced at her to see her squinting at me. " you wear contacts ?" 

"Yeah, I do. I came out of the shower started to put on my towel and I saw it, I am sorry." At the same time, we burst out laughing. I don't think I could ever forget this day. Yet it also occurred to me that I didn't know Jane as well as I thought I did.

After that traumatic event we sat down at the kitchen table and ate breakfast. Miss Morgana came and sat on my lap as usual. Jane looked at the shopping while I, of course looked at the classifieds.

"So, Gwen... are you gonna teach me something new tonight?"

"Today is Wednesday so, yeah ok sure."

"Spells? " Jane asked casually.

" Well, how about we go shopping today, buy you one or two of your own tools and then we can do a consecrating ritual."

"My own tools?" 

"Yup." I sipped my tea and turned the page. I looked up and saw Jane just smiling with complete joy.

"Are we going to the store? She stopped trying to remember the name, "the one that you always told me about, with the black curtains and wind chimes?"

"Yeah, Mystic Moon, sure." I remember the first time I went to Mystic Moon; it was my first metaphysical store I ever went to. That was about 5 years ago, when I was 17 years old, just beginning the craft. Now, the owner knows me well, I must be her best customer. "How about 4 o'clock then we can get Chinese, come home, and do the ritual?"

"Yeah, sounds great! " she put down her tea that was probably getting cold and said," what tools should I get, you have so many."

"Well you already made your own Book of Shadows, and I have plenty of herbs and candles for now. Lets try your own wand, and maybe some sort of Divination tool. It all matters what speaks to you."

"Where did you get you ritual cup. Your um... chalice?"

"That is a long story." I smiled. 

"Yeah, ok I am good for stories."

"Ok, where to begin oh ok yeah, it was my second time in Mystic Moon and the owner had just got a collection of chalices, they were hand painted by her pagan friend. I saw one that called to me. I picked it up. And looked at the price which was extremely out of my budget and I guess my expression was funny because the owner, short and full figured started laughing at me. I mean she was almost on the floor, so I turned to her and smiled. She said, 'a bit much for ya dear?' I went up to the counter and asked her what I could do to get the price cheaper. She looked at me, I looked at her. She was old but I couldn't tell exactly, she had this timeless look, one of those people who never truly age. " I looked at Jane, she was captivated by my story.

"Does she still work there, will I meet her?" Jane asked.

"Sometimes she goes to the shop, but mostly her daughter runs it, what time is it? "

"Who cares what time it is, tell me more ! What did she say?"

"She said, ' I was talking with my sister friend last time you came in, I never saw you before, and I noticed what you brought, 3 books and 2 essential oils. But that's normal, what caught my eye was you necklace. It was unique, something I have never seen before.' I then told her I made it from a stone I found. So she smiled and said ' if you promise to bring me one of em' the chalice is yours. ' I then promised to bring her one and she let me take the chalice for free, that day."

"Just with your word? " Jane was astonished, " She must be crazy!"

"Far from it, I made her necklace. It took one full week; I went home every day after school and worked my butt off. Then it was done. So the very evening I finished it I packed it in a fancy pouch and went to the store. I was greeted by the black curtains and wind chimes and a floral scent I could never make out what it was, all I knew was that it felt homely. I walked in and there she was, just sitting working her cards, she was laying them out in a circle. I don't think she heard me come in, she didn't even look up, she just knew I was there, like some eerie sixth sense. 'Hello dear, I was expecting you. ' She put down her last card to complete the circle and then stood up, walked over to me and took my hand. It was getting dark and I was a little scared but I walked with her anyway. She pointed to a chair across from her and said, 'sit here.' So I sat, and looked around. The store was so beautiful from the inside yet almost hidden from the outside. I looked at the bookcase filled with books, every one of them I wanted to read, I wanted to soak up the knowledge of this new religion called Wicca. The woman then touched my arm, which alerted me to her presence once again. I looked at her and then took out my pouch and gave her the necklace. She examined it, ' did it take you a long time to make?' I told her that I worked on it during all my free time this past week and I just finished it today. She said, ' then you earned your chalice. It will suit you well. Let me show you something.' she pointed to the table of carefully laid out cards. ' I drew these cards for you, do you know what they are called?' I replied Tarot, and I thought to myself that I learned a lot from those books I bought. "

"So what did they say, the cards?" Jane asked me.

"I don't really remember all of it just, something like life turns out differently than we expect it to and that I should follow my heart because it knows more than the mind." 

"Ohhh, so go on with your story." Jane pushed on.

"Ok after the cards she, got up and looked in her small mirror on the wall and put on my necklace, she kind screamed with joy, more like a screech and she said, 'Goddess bless this child, she is a wise witch!' I remember holding in my laughter. Then the lady said, ' my name is lady Shara, but my regulars call me the old witch, and my new customers call me crazy! ' She threw up her hands and started to dance around the store. I was laughing so much she was a wonderful show. Then she got me up off the seat, dancing too! "

"Gwen are you making this up? " Jane started to ask in disbelief.

"Who, Shara? Nope, you'll see for yourself one day. But it was wonderful I loved that night dancing in the store, it must have been way past curfew, but my mother didn't seem to notice. I recorded that night in my BOS and I read it sometimes when I feel sad, it brings me back, good times you know."

"I still think your making this up Gwen! Jane said, I looked at Jane and although she was dressed she still had her towel on her head I laughed. " What? " 

"Lovely fashion accessory! " I pointed to her towel.

"Oh, yeah I am gonna sell it on an online, day-wear, shower-wear, everywhere! " We both laughed and started to get ready for our day. We agreed to meet back at the apartment at 4 o'clock. I hope Jane gets to meet Shara. Then she'll really believe me!

Labyrinthian Insights
By Selene Silverwind

A few weeks after Pagan Pride Day, everyone in Beth's building was gathered in the courtyard, wondering why Kyra had called them down there. Beth had brought her guitar with her and Michael and Mark listened with rapt attention as she played a new tune she had written. Anacati sat to one side of the lawn crafting a new headdress for the upcoming powwow. Marisa, Jennifer, and Andrew were engaged in a rapid-fire game of catch, which occasionally devolved into a game of keep-away from Andrew. It was a somewhat treacherous game, given the green garden stakes sticking out of the grass, but Angela kept an eye on them from her place next to Anacati. 

The sound of rubber wheels bumping across the cement walkway leading out from the carport interrupted Beth's song. Adam pushed a metal wheelbarrow loaded with large river rocks out of the hallway. James followed behind with another wheelbarrow full of rocks. Kyra came last, carrying a bucket of powdered chalk. Adam and James stopped the wheelbarrows at the edge of the courtyard, then joined the rest of the tenants on the lawn. The tenants fired questions at Kyra, all wanting to know what the rocks and chalk were for. 

"Do you all remember the labyrinth at Pagan Pride Day?" Kyra asked.

Beth, Michael, and Mark nodded. They had each taken a turn walking it.

Kyra smiled and continued. "I didn't get a chance to walk it, but I've walked them before. Then I came across this on the internet." She paused and reached into her pocket. She pulled out a piece of folded paper and unfolded it with a flourish to reveal instructions for plotting a labyrinth. "We're going to build one right here in the courtyard. That's what the rocks and chalk are for. Everyone has to help."

Her tenants cheered and leaped to their feet, moving quickly toward the wheelbarrows. "Wait!" Kyra called. "First we have to make the path off with the chalk.

Mark took the bucket of chalk and the map from Kyra. He laid the creased piece of paper on the ground in the very center of the labyrinth, then sprinkled the chalk around the outer edge of the first circle of stakes, creating a meditation circle in the middle. He carefully continued around the circle, marking out the path in chalk. 

When the seven-cycle labyrinth was complete, Kyra went to the wheelbarrow to pick out the first rock to go on the path. She chose a medium-sized stone and carried it to the inner circle. She laid it down at the edge of the entrance to the labyrinth. Her tenants clapped, then set to work completing the path. Seven complete cycles around the circle. One long line with six turns, forming continuous loops that wound around the middle of the circle, back along the outer rim, then into the very center. 

The tenants formed a circle around it. Night was falling, but they felt a need to bless the labyrinth with a meditation. Kyra went into her apartment. She came back out with 11 10-inch white tapers. Each neighbor took one from her. She lit her candle, then stepped into the labyrinth. After Krya had rounded the first corner, Beth entered the labyrinth. 

As she started to walk the path, memories of her first walk on the path in Grace Cathedral in San Francisco rushed back to her. It was amazing. She had walked softly, deliberately, in bare feet. And though they said you could not become lost in the labyrinth, she had lost her way, and somehow found her way walking back out of the labyrinth before she had reached the center. This time she would be more careful. She would pay attention to the turns.

Angela stood at the edge of the labyrinth and watched her neighbors walk around it. Beside her, Jennifer and Andrew fidgeted. They wouldn't be able to walk the path without laughing or racing. It would be better to wait until they were the only ones walking it. Angela glanced at her watch. Besides, it was 8:00 already. Time for dinner and then bed. "Come on, kids. It's time to go inside," she whispered.

"Mom!" Jennifer whined, "I want to do the path."

"Another time, honey. We need to have dinner and tomorrow is a school day."

Jennifer nodded, looking dour. Andrew watched his sister quietly. If she couldn't argue with Mom, then he certainly couldn't.

One by one, the tenants walked the labyrinth, passing each other on the path as some left the circle and others entered it. Each walked in complete silence, listening to the words of the Goddess or Mother Earth to speak to them. This was a personal experience, even if they walked it together. None would emerge with the same message.

Gary arrived for dinner with Mark to find his boyfriend's neighbors walking this new labyrinth. He set his briefcase by Mark's door, slipped off his shoes and socks, hung his suit jacket on the door, and walked onto the lawn. He relished the way the grass felt under his bare feet. Kyra had just emerged from the labyrinth and smiled at him in welcome. She handed him her candle. With a nod of thanks, Gary started to walk the path Kyra had just completed.

After Beth completed her walk, she sat near the outer edge of the stone path to wait for Michael to emerge. He did so shortly. As some of their neighbors were still walking the labyrinth in quiet meditation, the couple joined hands and retreated to Beth's apartment. 

Mark was also waiting outside the labyrinth. He had come to a realization as he had walked the winding path. He wanted to share it with Gary immediately, but Gary had been the last to enter and was still sitting in meditation at the center. 

Gary emerged from the stone spiral. Kyra, Marisa, Adam, and Anacati had completed their meditation walks and gone inside to record their experiences. But Gary needed to discuss his with Mark. Mark and Gary went into his apartment, each itching to share the revelations the labyrinth had presented them with. They settled on the sofa, facing each other. Gary spoke first. "That was amazing. It made me realize something."

"Me too." 

"Let me go first," Gary said. Mark nodded. "Actually, it was two things. First, we should ask Kyra to lead a ritual to save the beach."

"Sounds great. What was the second thing?" Mark asked, wishing Gary would finish so he could say what he needed to say.

"We should move in together."

Mark didn't have to say it anymore. Gary already had. He and Gary had been together for more than three years. It was time to complete the process of merging their lives. "I saw us in a uniting ceremony," Mark said.

Gary reached a hand across to Mark's. "I would love to be your husband."

Upstairs, Beth and Michael were sharing their own discoveries from the labyrinth. They were seated on the couch, Beth cuddled in Michael's arms. It was time for her to reveal the final thing she had realized while exiting the path. She swallowed and turned to face him. "I decided something, or something decided itself, or I'm not sure, but I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Ready to be with you."

"Are you sure? I don't want to rush you. What about Kurt?"

"You're nothing like Kurt. I know that. That's why I agreed to have coffee with you that night." Michael smiled. Beth stood. She turned to him and took his hands, pulling him off the couch. "So are you ready, or not?"

Michael responded with a vigorous nod. "I am. I definitely am. I'll be right back."

As Michael dashed out the door, Beth went into the bedroom. She tossed the extra fluffy pillows off the bed. She wanted to use all the space available. She heard the front door close, then Michael came into her bedroom. Beth looked down at his hand and saw two small foil packages held firmly in his grip.

"Thank you," she said. She took the condom packets from him, then tossed them on the bedside table. She backed up a few inches and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Michael to make his move. Goddess she was nervous. She couldn't a remember a time when she'd been so nervous.

Michael was nervous too. He always was the first time he was with a woman. He wanted so much to please her, to do everything right. He stepped toward Beth, bending his head to press his lips into hers. She answered his strong kiss with her own. The flames of passion were ignited. 

Beth welcomed Michael into her arms, her desire mingling with an overwhelming sense of rightness. Her mind flew between the sensations coursing through her body and the emotions racing through her heart. It had never been like this with anyone. She understood now what Janine had meant when she'd mentioned seeing fireworks.

Michael ached to devour Beth immediately, but he was determined to take it slow. There was no way he was going to screw this up, no matter how his body cried out to just take her. He removed her clothing one piece at a time, and waited for her to undress him when she was ready.

The pace of their lovemaking increased rapidly as the layers of fabric between them were shed. Beth had never felt more attuned with anyone. She almost thought she could feel Michael's mind merging with hers. Streams of energy shot from her skin, seeking out their mates in Michael. 

Michael never wanted to lose this connection. He swam through the overwhelming sensations, wishing they would never end. But all good things must come to an end, and after it did, Michael rolled onto his side. He took Beth in his arms. He kissed her forehead, then lay his head back on the pillow and stroked her smooth back. 

Beth rested her head on Michael's chest and listened to his slowing heartbeat. She couldn't keep the smile off her face. This felt more perfect, more exactly what was meant to be, than she had ever imagined anything could be.

Downstairs, Gary and Mark were celebrating their own decision to formally join their lives with a good bottle of wine, and a rapidly expanding list of people to invite to their uniting. Mark was already planning their uniting website. Gary was having visions of the ceremony.

A knock at the door interrupted their plans and Gary went to answer it. It was Kyra. "I'm sorry to intrude, Gary, but Mark asked me to bring these herbs for the dish he's preparing." Kyra held out a small basket overflowing with fresh herbs from the garden.

Gary opened the door wider for her. "Oh, it's no intrusion. Actually we have something to ask you." 

Kyra stepped the rest of the way into the apartment as Mark stood and joined them in the doorway. Mark looked at Gary, who nodded. "First, we'd like to do a ritual at the beach to save it. Can we count on you to preside as High Priestess?"

"Of course! Just tell me when and where. Was that all?" Kyra waited expectantly for the next question she knew was coming.

Gary looked at Mark, then to Kyra. "No, actually. We've also decided to be united. Would you preside over that as well?"

Kyra almost did a back-flip, she was so excited by the news. "Yes! I'd love to! Oh, this is so exciting. I have to go tell Adam!" Kyra raced out the door to tell Adam that once again her premonition was correct. She was going to perform a wedding!

Mark and Gary laughed as she left, then Gary went to the table. He made a big checkmark on the "to do" list. "That's one thing covered. The rest should be that easy."

Upstairs, Beth was lost in her bliss. Had she ever been this happy before? She reached out and snaked her fingers into Michael's, toying with his chest hair with one finger. Nothing could ruin this day for her. 

The phone rang in the other room and both jumped, jolted out of the reverie. "Do you need to get that?"

"No. It's probably Janine. She has a knack for calling just after."

The machine picked up and Beth's sweet voice announced that she couldn't answer the phone, but if the caller would leave a message, she'd call back soon. Michael and Beth were surprised to hear the male voice on the machine. Beth cringed as she recognized the deep timbre. It was Kurt. He was back in town and he wanted to see her. They needed to talk.

Michael felt Beth flinch beside him. He looked down at her. "Are you okay?"

Beth nodded imperceptibly. 

"You don't look it. Do you want to get that?"

"No. It's fine."

"Really, it's okay if want to talk to him."

Beth sat up and looked at Michael. She slid out of bed and grabbed his hand, pulling him out with her. She led him into the kitchen and over to her answering machine. The blinking red light alerted her to the fact that she had one message. She looked at Michael one more time, then raised a hand to the machine and pushed the delete button. Message gone. Without another word, Beth led Michael back to the bedroom.

He smiled with satisfaction as she climbed back into bed with him and nestled down into his arms. Now he knew, she was sure of him. And he was completely sure of her.

Mewsings from the Alley
By Mystickally

Hi everyone. I'm hoping you all have read the latest Abby story, because it is closely tied to this Mewsings article. Astartes wrote it because he can explain what we've shared here, much better than I could. The only thing I do want to add is that The Great Catsby was really our wonderful cat, my familiar, and we do miss him dearly. It's been 2 years since his passing, and about 2 weeks after his passing in 1998, we received his ashes - on my birthday. Quite an interesting birthday present! Astartes was picking me up from school (yes I was really in Veterinary School!) and in my seat was a box with Catsby's urn in it. Obviously we are very sentimental about our cats - his ashes are with us, a picture of Catsby in his better days attached to it. We also kept the box that he came in. :::shrug::: I never claimed that we weren't weird.

Anyway, I hope this article can give you a better understanding of what Feline Leukemia is, and how awful it can be. My hope is that one day, no more cats will have to go through what Catsby did. Thanks for listening!

--Mystickally (aka: Arisa Moon) arisamoon@arisamoon.net

The Great Catsby RIP October 9, 1998.
http://www.arisamoon.net/nip.html - Memorial Page


Mewsings From the Alley
Written by Astartes (astartes@arisamoon.net)

This article will deal with some issues about a particular disease that
plagues cats. (FYI - it also contains a spoiler for this issue's Abby, so go read it!)

Back? Ok. I'm here to talk about FeLV - Feline Leukemia Virus. Like most cat virii, it may or may not affect a particular cat, but it is very infectious. I'm going to talk about the emotional and physical issues for the cats AND for us - the "meowmies and daddies" of our little angels (or devils).

First some background. It's called the equivalent to Human HIV [an aside - there is Feline AIDS. Don't let anyone tell you FeLV is the same as human AIDS, it's not]. It attacks the immune system and lets secondary infections into the cat's system. Cats do not die from FeLV, they die from the complications associated with it. It enters the cat through bodily secretions from an infected cat. Saliva, nasal discharges, whatever is liquidy and oozes out of a cat, it can be transmitted from it [For those interested - the virus can exist out of the body for two to four hours]. Some cats that come into contact with it might not be infected, but we still do not know why. A cat's body is a very mysterious thing; some just don't get the virus. After the virus enters the body, it waits there, in the blood or in the marrow, and passively affects the immune system, suppressing the antibodies so other things can come in. There is no cure, but there is a vaccine, which I do not agree with for some (maybe 7%-15%) cats have developed the condition after being vaccinated. True, that is very good odds, but I do not dice with my babies. Better to leave them as indoor-only cats and never let them come into contact with an infected kitty. [For those of the bioscience bend the vaccination is a retrovirus created from killed FeLV and Feline sarcoma cells irradiated with ultraviolet and formalin-killed]. 

Whew. Scared yet? Don't be, it's a rare virus. We've rescued many cats and so far 1 has had it (our late The Great Catsby) so I'm thinking that's pretty darn rare. It was Catsby that prompted me to set aside my hobbies to learn all I can of this virus. Its to him I dedicate this article. Catsby - COGITO POST DIEM.

There are two host-virus interactions with this virus, one of which sort of explains why some cats do not suffer but are still carriers. The first is progressive and the second is regressive. Can you guess which one is worse? There are four types of infections (two for each host-virus interaction), unimaginately labeled A,B,C and guess what? D. B and C are the regressive infections (called Self-Limiting) with B being the one responsible for the antibodies that nonviremic (non-symptomatic) cats have, but does not prevent the spreading of the A and D types. So in other words, a cat with B can produce cats with A,B,C or D, but only when the cat has the virus (the self-limiting part of the virus is that it only lasts for weeks at most). C type is the same as B but with a Transient Viremia (where the virus shows up and then mysteriously disappears.) So the cat tests positive and a few weeks later tests negative.

Another aside - ever wonder why cats are called mysterious? This is why. Stuff just *poof* disappears or reappears with them. In life, play and bodies.

The last two are the fatal ones (maybe fatal in the case of D). D is augmented with the fact that they will produce antibodies that *may* fight off the virus. [For those that are bioscience minded, there are two antibodies VN (virus neutralizing) and FOCMA (feline oncornavirus-associated cell membrane antigen)]. D either reduces to C (and then two B) or escalates to A. The difference of D and C is that C cats will be viremic for a short period of time.

A is a fatal diagnosis. The antibodies the cat produces are just overwhelmed by the virus and the body cannot recover no matter how much stuff you pump into the cat. Once the cat is showing signs of viremia, the only thing you can do is keep the cat in a sterile environment and hope for the best - a long life of solitude and medications. At this stage penicillin-type drugs and antibiotics are a cats best friend. Even a small Upper Respiratory Infection, one a normal cat can fight off in a week, develops into pneumonia. A little scratch can mean a big problem.

Hmmm. That about sums up the clinical side of the problem. Are you scared now? Don't be. Of those infected, 10% develop A. [For those keeping score that's 10% of 7% - 15% of the cat population in an area (for those who need numbers in a colony of 140 cats, ten of those get FeLV and only 1 gets FeLV type A)].

So now what? Let's try to cope with the emotions involved. I speak from personal experience. And while it is true Catsby has reincarnated for us and true his original spirit does like to visit me in my DreamLand, his loss is no less powerful. I was very angry that it happened and I really don't remember much of that day (the anniversary of his two year passing was just recent) I can tell you that I was miserable. And so were our cats. His girlfriend (our resident female Alpha Tabitha) still feels that loss. [We call her his girlfriend because they were forever playing "footsies" under the glass door that kept them separated his whole life with us.] How does one help your furbabies cope? First, and very important, you have to cope yourself. A cat can totally understand your emotional state and her emotions will play off of them. Without personal acceptance, your cats will never learn themselves. Don't hesitate to talk to them about it either. Just because they aren't looking at you doesn't mean they aren't listening. Also let them help you as well. I remember Tabitha was very understanding those weeks afterwards. She just was around me and let me know that she feels his loss to and we can grieve together.

A co-worker just recently told a story I can relate to me. She had two cats that were male littermates. They lived to 17 years of age and suddenly one died of heart failure (which is understandable because he was so old). A few days later, after many hours of moping and depression, his brother passed away as well from a broken heart. Depression and grief are two very real emotions that cats feel, just as humans. Coping is the same too. Music is a comfort, old memories, blankets, places you had fun in. Just try to remember the good times, and honor her passing with a candle or two every so often. Leave your Mind's Eye open every night and sure enough, she'll come to visit.

::sigh:: I better go get a candle. CARPE MORTE Catsby.

Faery Heart
By DreamDancer

It was a sad, sad day. Probably the saddest day there ever was. It must be the saddest day, for no other day in memory had ever felt this bad.

Jimmy Gerbil had passed away last night in his sleep, and was laid to rest under the big oak tree out in the back yard, after such a pretty farewell ceremony.

While it's true that Jimmy was just a gerbil, he was the coolest, bestest gerbil there ever was. Jimmy was Victoria's first time ever furry little friend.

Victoria was a sensitive girl, and mommy and daddy knew this well. Her heart was as big as the ocean; she had so much love in her. Mommy and daddy knew that she would love and cherish a pet, and take really really good care of one, but they couldn't bare the thought of her great big heart breaking when a pet passed on too soon, as they always seem to do.

When Victoria turned ten, she had shown mommy and daddy that she really really was a big girl now, and she could handle things in a big girl way, and so Jimmy came into her life.

As said before, he was the bestest gerbil there ever was. Victoria would watch him play for hours each day, grinning from ear to ear, happy that Jimmy was having so much fun. Each night, before she went to bed, Jimmy would climb into her hands, then she would lay down with him on her chest, and he would feel her love and warmth and he would curl up and go peacefully to sleep before she put him back amidst his woodchip bed for the night.

But now Jimmy was gone. Victoria had cried that morning when Jimmy wouldn't wake up, and daddy told her he wouldn't be waking up again. And she had cried when she laid him in his little box in the ground under the big oak tree, but mommy said it was okay to cry then, even for a big girl, and it was true she knew, because mommy cried too, and even big strong daddy had some little tears in his eyes.

Now it was evening, and Victoria was still very very sad. She wanted to cry some more, but she thought that, while crying this morning was okay, tonight, this long after things it wouldn't be proper for a big girl to do it. She had to show mommy and daddy how big and strong she really was.

It was a warm late summer evening. Victoria decided to go out in the back yard, lie in the grass, look at the stars and watch the fireflies flit about. It was one of her favorite things to do, and besides, if she couldn't help crying, she wanted to be alone where mommy and daddy couldn't see her and think her a little girl again.

So she lay there in the grass, but she could not really pay much attention to the stars. She was still too sad. Tears formed in her eyes, and little sniffles escaped her, but she fought it and fought it, since she was a big girl now.

She tried instead to watch the fireflies dance, and dance they did. And then she saw a strange thing. One of the fireflies seemed to fly straight to her, and looked to be changing its shape as it approached. The firefly landed on her chest, and Victoria saw it was a glowing little girl, in a flimsy little dress, with gossamer wings on her back.

Victoria wasn't scared. Oh, it had nothing to do with being a big girl and all, it was just that she knew the little creature couldn't be real, it was just her imagination, that sometimes still let her see things that others couldn't see.

The little Faery girl smiled and said "Hello Victoria. I haven't seen you in a long long time. I've missed you". Victoria weakly smiled back at her. "Well, you couldn't have. You're not real. You're just in my imagination".

"Oh, I'm real all right" laughed the Faery girl. "I'm standing right here on your chest, aren't I? We're talking to each other, aren't we? Why would you think I wasn't real?"

"Well, my teachers tell me there's no such thing as faeries, and all my friends say so too. Faeries are just imaginary, and on TV and in books".

"Victoria, my sister and mothers and me are real all right. We're just hard for some people to see. You have to believe, really believe in us to see us most times. When you were little, before people started to tell you other things, you would see me here every night".

The truth then dawned on Victoria, and she knew the little Faery girl was right. And she remembered, remembered those days as a little girl, before she got big, when she would come out in the yard and talk to her
Faery girl friend, and watch the faeries dance in the night with the fireflies, before she forgot to believe and saw only he glow bugs.

"Jezzaree?" she asked tentatively. "Is that really you?"

"Yes Victoria, it is me. I've missed you so much, I'm happy to be with you again. Now, it looks to me like you are very sad tonight, sadder than I've ever seen you. What has made you so sad on such a beautiful night?"

And Victoria remembered again why she was so sad, and the tears came into her eyes once again.

"I'm so very sad. My gerbil Jimmy went to sleep last night, and he never woke up. We laid him down to rest, over there, under the big oak tree. I loved him so much, and now I miss him so much that it hurts. I didn't know that you could hurt this bad just from missing someone".

"Oh, I see." said Jezzaree. "You think that Jimmy is gone, and you'll never see him again. Is that right?"

"Yes" sniffed Victoria, "and I don't want him to be gone. I want him to be here with my. I loved him, and I know he loved me back".

Jezzaree understood this. She also knew how to make Victoria smile again.

"Victoria, Jimmy isn't really gone. Just the fuzzy little body that he stayed in while he was here. There are more different kinds of life than just that which you see every day. There is a thing called spirit. That's the part of our lives that never goes away. Now Jimmy's spirit lives on, free as the wind, never tired or hungry or cold, and never feeling alone".

And Victoria felt her little Faery girl friend was right, but she was still sad. She was happy that Jimmy was happy and free, but she still missed him deeply, and she told Jezzaree so.

"Well, Jimmy is never far from you, no matter where you are. The place of spirits is a bit different than the one you mostly know, and time and distance have no meaning there. And, you can always find his spirit if you just know where to look".

"But I don't know where to look" replied Victoria, "I don't know how to find him. Could you show me how?"

"Of course I can. That's what friends are for, and especially Faery friends" Jezzaree grinned.

The little Faery girl lay down upon Victoria's chest, placing her heart next to Victoria's, and hugged her close.

"Now, open your spirit my friend, that special place inside of yourself. Feel the bonds of love you and Jimmy share, and let them draw you close together. Spirits that share a love can always come together".

And Victoria did. Warmth spread from Jezzarees heart into hers, and a warm glow spread out from her heart and filled her whole body.

As Jezzaree stood back up, Victoria felt a furry tickle in her hand. She brought Jimmy up to her chest and stroked him gently as he nestled down peacefully upon her as feelings of love and happiness filled her heart. She smiled at her little Faery girl friend. "Thank you so very much".

And Jezzaree smiled back at her. " No matter if you grow up and forget to believe again, no matter if I stop being real for you, any time that you can look inside yourself and find that special place, your Faery heart that I've shown you how to reach, then the magic will happen and those you love and those that love you will be at hand".

Victoria was so very happy to learn this; so very happy it felt that her heart might burst in joy.

She felt a cold nose upon her cheek and turned to have her face suddenly licked and licked and licked by a big black shaggy dog. His tail was wagging so much that she thought it might come loose.

Victoria giggled and squirmed and asked" and who are you, boy?"

Jezzaree laughed. "Oh, meet Spunky. He used to live with your mother when she was your age, but she hasn't seen him in years. Spunky loves your mother very much, and since your mother loves you, you are very special to him and he loves you too".

Victoria snuggled Spunky close with her free hand, and she was happy to have not one, but two furry friends close to her. Jezzaree was content, and smiled at her little human girl friend.

"Now I'm going to go, and join in with the dance of the night. I hope to see you again my friend. Merry we part, and merry we meet again", and she winked at Victoria, and fly off to become a light dancing with the others in the sky.

Now, mommy and daddy were still worried about their big-hearted little girl. They knew she hurt deeply, and they both hurt as well, thinking of her pain.

They were worried as well that she might feel alone in her pain, outside all by herself, so mommy went to check and see if her little one was okay.

She came upon Victoria in the yard, and asked if it would be okay to join her for a bit, to look at the stars with her, and watch the fireflies dance.

"Of course mommy, don't be a silly old bear".

Mommy lay down next to her little girl, side to side and pressed close together and looked up at the sky.

They lay together for a while, until mommy heard a little sniffle that tore her heart apart. She leaned up on her side and glanced at her babies face in the starlight, but instead of a sad face, she saw a bright smile.

"And how is my big girl doing tonight" she asked.

"Oh, I'm fine mommy. I was so sad when I came out here, but now I'm not. I know that Jimmy is happy and free, and it's okay now. There's nothing to be sad about. And Spunky thinks so too. He's such a big cutie, isn't he?"

Mommy paused, she didn't know what to think or say. Spunky?

Victoria hugged her mommy close. "I'm so happy I found my Faery Heart tonight Mommy".

And Mommy suddenly remembered, though it had been so many years, and the warm glow passed between child and mother. She smiled a beautiful smile as she hugged Victoria closer, and Spunky smiled his doggy smile as his person was with him once again.

Subtly heard, as the fireflies danced in the night, was a sound that could just be joyous singing, seemingly from the air about the glow bugs, as love powered the Faery Hearts.

DreamDancer
10-14-00

Psyche the Heroine
By Luna Willowsong

Through no fault of my own, I was despised by Aphrodite. 
I saw not, and desired not that men might adore my beauty.
I was pronounced "unlovable, fit to wed monsters" by the Oracle
Abandoned, bereft of dreams of rescue or miracle
I slept on a bed of barren rock, waiting for death to awaken me. 
Love came as executioner for my offense against a goddess's vanity. 
Yet, what was meant as my death was really my rebirth
When I, a woman deemed unlovable by all men on earth, 
Found herself beloved of a god, Me?
By the gods' mirth... what irony!
The early days were spent in lover's ecstasy.
Passion, joy, and Love were enough for me.
My love was blind and all seemed a paradise,
But I longed to see more and for that paid great price.
Monster or angel? I needed to know.
How could I in my ignorance believe Love would go?
You fled in that moment of forced intimacy
When I saw that which you said I was not to see.
Once lit the lamp of knowledge burned bright as innocence caught flame.
Illuminated, I stood abandoned, trembling, and naked in my shame.
Alone again, this time with child unborn,
Fearing Love lost forever I collapsed forlorn.
But then with the quickening of the child within,
That faint glimmer of life brought me back again.
I rallied my courage and straightened my shoulder.
To Aphrodite I appealed, and for Love I grew bolder.
Though jealous and vindictive, 'tis the nature of Aphrodite
That she must lend ear, if not heart, to hear a lover's plea.
To find Love again, she would allow, if I met her challenge.
In four shrewd dares, lay my demise; she would have her revenge.
Four impossible tasks she set before me, to recover Love's bliss.
I thought myself cursed, but found myself blessed in this.
Four perilous tasks served me well as my Chrysalis. 
The fourth left me hopeless, cocooned and oblivious,
As tenderly Love carried me from despairs' dark abyss. 
Love's wings swept me up to the heights of Olympus.
Where, because I had Love I was as a goddess.
And here in the lofty clouds, Love and I dwell for all eternity,
Looking at our children, Youth and Joy, we remember gratefully, 
That to truly love another we must let light shine where each may see
There in the shadows of our souls, the anima in you, the animus in me. 
To embrace these frightening parts of self reflected in another's soul,
Is to finally know completion, to be healed and to be whole.

Samhain Word Search
By Isha ArrowHawk

T R A P Y R R E M S A C V V B Q
Z O L U N Q P W Z D P X B C N R
F B K M V S A C R E D S P A C E
X E M P X E L S A F O Z E X M P
G S N K S T O X Q G I C N Z L P
N E G I F U K E Z H N D M P K U
I D O N H O I D X A U I A O J S
T D D M I P M C R J Y V S I P B
N H D O G M J B C K V I D I H M
A V E B J I M R V C E N R U G U
H Q S C L E U U B A I A F Y F D
C W S Z M T N F R N L T G T D W
K I B E K E H V N D T I H R S E
P A R Q J W Y T A L R O J E A R
L Z G C G A B N M E E N K W P T
C X R E L D C G L S W Q L Q O Y
R C S S R E W O T H C T A W I U

The word list:

Pumpkin
Drumming
Circle
Veil
Robes
Spiral Dance
Remembrance
Candles
Goddess
God
Watchtowers
Sacred Space
Chanting
Dumb Supper
Divination
Merry Part

Words can be forwards, backwards, or diagonally from either direction.
Enjoy!

MEAGAN'S FIRST FUNERAL 
Copyright 1997 by Kathryn Dyer

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Meagan. She lived with her mommy and daddy, her big brother Corwin and her beautiful cat named Starweaver. Meagan had been out playing with her friend Cindy all day. When she came home she heard her mother talking on the phone with someone. Meagan thought that her mother's voice sounded funny and she was worried that something was wrong. She went into the living room and saw that her mother was crying. 

"Okay," said her mother Elizabeth, "I'll let everyone know, call back and tell me when you find out anything else." She hung up the phone and saw Meagan. "Oh honey!" she exclaimed, "I just got some bad news and can really use a hug." Meagan ran to hug her mother. "What's wrong Mommy?" she said, "Can I help?" Elizabeth smiled through her tears, "You've already helped by giving me a hug. That made me feel much better." She sat down and gathered Meagan into her lap, "Do you remember Jim? He used to work on the computer with your father." Meagan nodded and her mother said, "Well, Jim was just in a car accident and he's hurt very badly. He's in the hospital right now." Meagan looked up at her mother, "But that means that the doctors will make him all better, right?" Elizabeth shook her head, "They're going to try honey but sometimes a person's body gets so sick or so hurt that the doctors can't do anything to help...but they're going to do everything they can and we can help too."

"Help with what?" asked Meagan's father Michael as he came into the room with Corwin. Elizabeth helped Meagan to the floor and stood up,
"Lisa just called me. Jim was hit by a truck on the way home a few hours ago." Michael's face turned pale, "Oh Goddess, how bad is it? 
Where is he?" Elizabeth went and hugged him, "He's at Southside Medical
Center. They said that there's not much left of the car...they've got him in surgery right now but Lisa says they're not sure if they can do much for him. I was just telling Meagan that we can do something to help. I asked her if she minded if we did a healing ritual. She said that it was okay with her and that she didn't think Jim was in any shape to object right now." Elizabeth put her head down on Michael's shoulder. Meagan felt very strange. She didn't know what to do. She wanted to make things all better. Meagan looked up at her brother and saw that he was hugging their parents so she decided to hug them too. After a few minutes Michael broke the hug. He looked down at Meagan and Corwin.

"Well, I would like to go to the hospital and offer Lisa our support but I want to do at least a small healing ritual first. Meagan, do you remember what the color we use for healing?" She nodded, "Green, because it's the color of life." Michael smiled, "That's right. Can you go get me one of the big green candles from the closet? And Corwin, what kind of incense do you think we should use?" 

Corwin thought about it for a minute, "I have some stick incense that has rosemary and sandalwood in it...those are both good for healing." Michael nodded and Meagan and Corwin went to go get the candle and the incense while Michael and Elizabeth got the family altar ready. When it was time to raise the energy Elizabeth looked at both of them, "Remember to stop pushing before you stop pulling energy from the Earth! And while you are giving Daddy the energy try to picture Jim looking happy and well. Daddy will send the energy to the Gods and ask them to use it for the greatest good of all. That may not mean that the energy will make Jim all better. It might be best for the energy to go to his family to help them deal with Jim's accident." Meagan and Corwin nodded and then helped raise the energy. Even though her mother had said that it might not make Jim all well she still felt better then she had before.

Meagan's daddy went to the hospital. While he was gone Meagan made a get-well card to send to Jim. But when it was time for bed her father was still not home from the hospital. "It's okay," said Elizabeth, "The surgery takes a very, very long time and even after that they'll have to put Jim in the recovery room for awhile. Your daddy said that he might stay the night in case Lisa needed anything. Their children are flying in from out-of-town and daddy might have to go pick them up at the airport." Meagan nodded, "I'm just scared that something bad will happen to daddy, like it did to Jim." Elizabeth hugged her, "That's normal honey. Whenever something bad happens everyone worries that something else bad will happen too. But what happened to Jim was very unusual. And remember, you've got me and your daddy and Corwin and your grandparents and Cindy and all of your other friends and family to help take care of you and love you no matter what happens. Are you going to be okay?" Meagan sniffed and said in a quivery voice, "No. Mommy, I'm scared. Can I sleep with you tonight instead? Please?" Elizabeth hugged her again, "Okay honey, it's hard sometimes to sleep by yourself when you're scared but you'll have to sleep in your own bed tomorrow night...you tickle in your sleep!" Meagan grinned a little bit, "No I don't!" Elizabeth smiled, "How do you know if you do it when you're asleep? Besides Starweaver won't know where to sleep if you're not in your own bed. Come on now, I'll tuck you into my bed and lay down with you for a little while. But then I'm going to have to go make some more phone calls...are you sure you still want to sleep in my bed?" Meagan nodded and went to curl up in her parent's bed. She was soon fast asleep.

The next morning Michael was back. He looked very sad. "Where's mommy?" asked Meagan beginning to get very worried again. "She's gone with your brother to go buy him a new suit." Meagan was confused, "Why does he need a new suit?" Michael sat down and took Meagan's hand, "You remember that Jim was hurt very badly." Meagan nodded. "Well, the doctors all tried very hard but his body couldn't handle all the things that had happened to it and he died last night after the surgery was over." Meagan looked up at her father, "I remember when our hamster died...you said that he went to the Summerland. Has Jim gone to the Summerland too?" Michael nodded, "Yes Meagan, I believe he has. His body was just too broken for him to stay in it any longer. Your mother and Corwin and I are all going to go to his funeral. You don't have to come if you don't want to...some people don't like to see the body after the person has left it. But you knew Jim and I want to give you the chance to say good-bye if you want to. You don't have to decide now. Just think about it and let us know...if you don't want to go you can go stay with Cindy while we're gone." Meagan nodded, "I think I'll go outside to think about it." Michael smiled, "That's a very good place to think."

Meagan went outside and sat under her very favorite tree. She thought about what her parents had told her about the Summerland. She knew that it was a special place that people went to when they weren't living on the Earth in bodies. She knew that she had been in the Summerland with the Gods before she was born. Meagan thought about seeing someone who wasn't in their body anymore. She was a little scared but she really liked Jim and Lisa and she wanted to be able to say good-bye to Jim until he came back again someday. Meagan knew that she might not know him when the Wheel turned again. She heard a car pull up and saw her mother and Corwin get out of the car. Her mother got some packages out of the car. Meagan got up to go see what they were.

"Oh good," said her mother, "has daddy had a chance to talk to you about what happened?" Meagan nodded, "He said that I could go to the funeral if I wanted and I think I want to but I've never been to one before. What are they like?" She went inside with her mother. "Well," said Elizabeth, "a lot depends on what the family wants to do to help them grieve. Jim's body will be in a long box called a coffin at the funeral home. Tonight and tomorrow all of his friends and family will come to the funeral home to see his body and to comfort each other. We'll sit or stand around and talk about all the nice things he did for us and how much we loved him. The day after tomorrow there will be a ceremony. Someone will get up and talk about Jim and they'll play some music that he loved. Then we'll go to the cemetery and they'll put his body into the ground. Not everyone does that part. Some people want their bodies to be burned when they're done with them and sometimes they scatter those ashes in a favorite place. Lisa will have a stone marker put up with Jim's name on it to mark the place where his old body is. There will be a lot of crying and people will be very sad. If you do decide to go there will always be someone who can take you somewhere else if you decide you don't want to be there anymore." 

Meagan looked thoughtful; "I think I want to go say good-bye too. What will I wear?" Elizabeth took a dress out of one of the packages, "In our culture, when someone dies we wear black to show our respect for the family that's left behind. You aren't a grown-up yet so you can also wear purple. I thought that you might want to wear one of your purple outfits tonight and tomorrow and I bought this dress for you to wear to the funeral. I kinda figured that you might want to go." Meagan looked at the dress, "Yes. I think that people wear black at funerals because that's how they feel inside when they miss someone so much and they won't get to see them again." Elizabeth nodded and started to cry a little bit again. Meagan thought that she had done something wrong but her mother said, "I am so proud of you. Don't worry when you see people crying about this. Crying is one of the ways the Gods gave us to help make us feel a little better about missing the person who has died."

Meagan went to the funeral home with her family. She thought that Jim's body looked weird. It was kind of waxy and pale and it didn't smell very nice. Her father told her that they had put chemicals in it so that it wouldn't go back to the Earth before everyone had had a chance to say good-bye. Going to the funeral home was hard. Some people wondered why she was there. Meagan heard Lisa tell someone that Meagan was there for the same reason that Jim's grandchildren were there. "She was as much a part of his life as anyone else here," Lisa told them, "and I know that she misses him as much as any of us do." Meagan was glad when Lisa hugged her and told her how much her hugs helped things feel better. Meagan got a little tired during the funeral service and she started to squirm but she remembered that her mother had told her that she could go out if she needed. She decided to stay so that she could hear the music. The music wasn't sad at all. And the people who talked about Jim were sad but they talked about all the good and happy things that Jim had done for them. On the way home it started to rain. Meagan thought that maybe the Gods were crying too. She remembered the get-well card she had made. She wouldn't ever send it now but her parents had helped her make a card for Jim's family to help them feel better. 

For a while after Jim had died Meagan felt funny whenever her parents drove the car. She was afraid that they would die too. But soon she realized that things like Jim dying didn't happen everyday. She still felt sad sometimes when she remembered Jim but she was glad that he was in the Summerland even if not everyone thought that was where people went when they died. One day Meagan got a thank-you note from Jim's family. It said that they felt much better when they read Meagan's card. She took the thank-you note to bed with her that night. It felt good to help someone else feel better. Starweaver jumped up onto her bed and began to purr as Meagan went to sleep. Even though she had been sad sometimes, it had been a good day.

My Friend The Tree
Chapter seven
By "T"

I had to work overtime the next day, so it was almost four in the morning when I got to my usual parking spot near my friend the tree. The clouds had moved on and the rain stopped for now. The forecast called for more rain before nightfall. The nearly full moon gave me lots of light to gather the garbage from the side of the road. The stars were bright in the newly scrubbed sky. I could see the belt of Orion had risen completely above the horizon. "Mabon is just a moon away" I thought to myself when I saw the belt. The rising of Orion's belt has always had a special place in my life. It signals the approach of autumn; within a couple of weeks the leaves will start their color change. The bird migrations will start and at work the busy season intensifies with thousands of kilos of candy for what they call hallowe'en. Yes I know it sounds strange. Think about it though, most stuff has to be in stores a month before the event, right? 

I turned away from the stars and moon. I got gloves and garbage bags from Dayen and started to pick all the junk left by the cops. There are very few times I will actually use the word 'hate'. I have to say tho', I hated picking up all that soaking, smelly, slimy garbage. I had to yell at myself to keep my temper. I would be thinking to myself that I didn't HAVE to pick up all this stuff. I was upset at the idea that people who had sworn to uphold the law would leave so much litter, especially when littering is against the law. And the beer! There were at least five two-fours worth of empty beer bottles and cans. When the advertisements say that four or five beer are enough to put an average person over the legal limit. Remember, I'm not talking about American beer. Here I am picking up the empties that the cops left lying around.

There are two words that I try to avoid using. I mean really really try to avoid. Hate and never, two simple words, right? I think there is too much hate taught on this planet, and the word is usually overused by people that have no real concept of what hate is. I've been the victim of so-called "hate crime" and intolerance and discrimination many times in my adult life. Usually it's a result of education or the lack of education, not real hate. I can't bring myself to hate people that hurt me, when I realize that they are doing what they BELIEVE is right. 

Never is a long long time. In one theory, the universe is almost fifteen billion years old. I think it's really silly to say, from the perspective of our one-century life span, to say that something will never happen. Except of course, negative gravity. ;-)

A bag and a half of garbage and another bag with just the empties, and I was finished. My shoes were soaked and my pants wet to the knee. I left the bags beside Dayen, grabbed another garbage bag, my traveling bag and climbed the hill to see my friend. I collected all the garbage at the top of the hill. Apologizing to all the flowers and seedlings that I was walking on. I didn't have much choice. It was either walk on the flowers or leave the garbage where it was. Neither choice was very appealing. What would you do? I felt that getting the non-biodegradable junk picked up was more important than flowers that could grow back. 

I walked through the stand of trees and entered the clearing. "Good morning my friend!" I said. There was an answer! My friend was awake and enjoying the moonlight. I picked up the last of the garbage that I could see and left the full bag near the spot where I had just entered the vale. I walked over to my friend, stopping, as always, outside the circle of it's roots. "Hello my friend, may I enter your space?" When I got the sense that I could, I pricked my finger and walked around the tree leaving a couple of drops of blood at each of the cardinal compass points just inside the circle of it's roots. I concentrated on reinforcing the energy of the circle I had cast the night before. When I had finished the circle I staggered around to the east side and crossed through my ward and straight in towards the tree. I put my hand against the tree and rested my forehead on it. "Thank you," I said "for accepting me into your space." I rested there for a minute, trying to recoup my energy. It's times like these I wish I were part of a group. Even if it's only to distribute the energy drain. 

My friend still felt the pain of the vandals, and it communicated its pain to me. There was nothing I could do. I felt around for the patch where the bark had been ripped away and the underlying wood exposed to the sun. The area exposed was only 30 cents square, but it faced south. The sun at this time of year is still strong enough to dry wood even though the hours of daylight are growing shorter. The stubs of the broken branches were above my head, the wood already turning gray, the bark was curled and dry and ready to fall off. How can someone do that to a tree? 

I had asked my parents and an aunt (isn't E-mail marvelous?) about the tarry stuff I had seen people put on trees after pruning or damage. The consensus was that if the weather is dry then there should be no problem, but in damp weather (like autumn, this far north) sealing with the tar would seal in moisture and fungus that could harm the tree. I couldn't do anything for my friend. 

I walked over to my fire rock. I use a portable fire shield to protect the rock and the growing things around it. Those kids hadn't. Their fire had been set around and on top of the rock. The soot was hardened and thick where the rain didn't wash it clean. There was some kind of runes scratched into the soot, I didn't recognize them. I could eliminate Celtic, Norse and North American symbols because I am familiar with most of those. They didn't look like Egyptian or Greek, maybe something else from around the Mediterranean or Middle East. I wanted to erase them, whatever they were, but I hesitated. Maybe I should find out what they were first. I memorized them so I could look them up later. 

I set down my waterproof beside the place where my friend had smoothed its bark for me and sat down to watch the stars. I realized, as I was sitting there, how much I had missed my friend. I decided I would use my savings and try to buy the parcel of land. I probably couldn't afford it, but I could check into it. I told my friend my decision. It felt like it was confused. I had to laugh at myself again. Have you ever tried to explain ownership to a tree? 

I was still chuckling a while later as I collected the garbage bags and squeezed them into Dayen. I would dump the garbage in the bins outside my apartment building when Dayen and I got home. The beer cans and bottles? Darn right I would keep the return money. Dayen and I went home, with the windows open. 

T
Sept. 2000

The Earth is Our Mother
By Savannah* Moon 

Tilting toward the light of the Sun,
Our Mother awakens and warms.
Her skin greens with all manner of life.
Her breath gently stirs the clouds and renews the air.

Her hair, as flowing rivers and streams, 
Cascades downward between the breasts of mountains.
Onward, downward, through the valley of her thighs
Pouring into the oceans at her feet.

Her arms enfold us in their gentle embrace,
Spinning and rocking us through turbulence and peace.
Her hands guide us, opening doors and closing others.
Her eyes light our way, down paths of our own choosing.
Her Heart shows us assistance and compassion, when
wrong turns are made.

Her womb births our brethren creatures four legged and two.
Her energy flies about on the wings of birds, 
In the water dance of sea creatures, 
And within the beating of hooves.

The Earth is our Mother-
She awakens. 

"Teen Witch Kit" by Silver RavenWolf
Review by ~Rain

The "Teen Witch Kit" has been the topic of many conversations among Pagans, Wiccans and other Magical folk. So naturally I jumped on the opportunity to review it. First, I'd like to make a quick statement. I have not read something by Silver RavenWolf before. It is not because I dis-like her work. It is simply because I stick with my favorite authors, mostly Scott Cunningham. Please don't take everything in this review as fact, these are simply my opinions. I don't claim to "know all," I just call it as I see it. Now on to the review!

The "Teen Witch Kit" includes, a silver bell, drawstring pouch, spell salt, yes/no coin, golden prosperity coin, golden wish cord, silver moon pendant, quartz crystal, and a 128-page book. The items in the kit are to be honest somewhat cheep looking. It is a manufactured kit, so what can you expect? However, they will help the practitioner start in Magick. 

The box that it all comes in pops up and becomes a mini alter. There was some serious thought and effort put into it. The title of the Kit & Book reads, " Teen Witch Kit: Everything you need to make Magick!" I think it can be a wee bit mis-leading. My suggestion would be to name it, " Magick kit: A beginner's guide for the teenage witch" or something along those lines. It dose go over the very basics, yes. However, the kit's focus is on Magick. Therefore, it is more a " Magick Kit" than a " Witch Kit".

The book that comes with the Kit is where my main focus went. It is laid out very well. Plus, it's very pleasing on the eye & gives off this wonderful magical feel. The first few pages explain about the kit, its contents and how to use everything. On page 16 there is a section in which she asks the reader to write their own book blessing. When I did that, it truly felt like " my book." That act, evokes a sense of mysticism and enchantment.

Silver RavenWolf explains Wicca in an easy manner. I also thought a few of her comments were refreshing and honest. Such as, on page 17 she writes, " I learned long ago that if you don't know the rules, you look like an idiot when someone starts to ask questions. "

Through out the book she shows the reader how to caste a circle, mediate, ground & center etc. I was pleased to see that she included those basics & must haves in Wiccan Magick. However, I would have liked a bit more in-depth information on the Goddess & God ( by the way she refers to them as " spirit" ).

Of course there were a few things I dis-liked. One thing in particular stood out in my mind! On page 22 there is a section called " What definitely doesn't make you a Witch?" It says, 
"Dressing head- to- toe in gothic black clothing and lots of bold jewelry. Some teens were insulted by a similar remark in my book "Teen Witch," because they liked to dress like this. What you choose to wear is up to you, if its black clothes & colorful jewelry, fine. Everyone likes to be a bit avant-garde sometime, including me! Just realize that there is no uniform that makes you a witch. Remember - people judge you (although they probably shouldn't) by the way you dress. I wear suits for book signings and seminars, and jeans and boots in my own hometown. Sometimes fitting in with your surroundings is a good idea". 

Silver mentioned that she wrote something similar in her " Teen Witch" book and that it insulted people. Then I ask, why write it again? I was insulted by that remark in part because I am a gothic witch, but also because she is looking down on fellow Wiccans due to their choice of the clothing! She could have stated her point in a more basic manner other than singling out gothic witches. She could have wrote something to the effect of, " The power of he witch is within. It isn't what you wear that makes you a witch."

She also refers to " Book of Shadows " yet doesn't clearly explain what it is. Assuming that the reader knows very little about Wicca, it would have been more beneficial to them if she explained exactly what it was, or at least put it in the " Glossary of Wiccan terms".

The whole second half of the book was spells. They were easy, all in accordance with the Rede. She did incorporate many of the items in the kit to be used within the spells. The other additional items the spells called for were for the most part easy to find. Each spell was written well. I was a little disappointed that she only dedicated one or two pages to the section called, " how to write your own spells." Plus that info that was given is vague.

In conclusion the book was helpful, fun, and for the most part realistic. The kit its self as a whole was well put together and thought out. I think it will help the teen witch begin in Magick, and is an easy guide to learning.

I have read that some dis-liked the kit even before they have seen it. I think they should view it for themselves. Others complain it is a "short cut to being a witch." I think those who are complaining about it should take that energy & focus it on something worthwhile like encouraging more religious tolerance. Bad mouthing Silver RavenWolf, another Wiccan doesn't help the Wiccan Community ! We need to work together, not against each other. 

The Kit was good, I give it 4 out of 5 broomsticks! 

She Radiates
By Savannah* Moon 

She radiates with the heat of Love. 
Within her cocoon She warms herself,
The very air around her is a shawl; softness and comfort 
Wrapping everyone who ventures close.
Feeling grateful to possess the gift, and
She envelops them.

She radiates with the scent of Healing. 
Within her hands is the calm, the touch. Even for herself.
Questions and answers, doubts and dreams;
The wisdom is there for all who merely ask. 
She is thankful for the gift, and
She helps them.

She radiates with the glow of Humor.
Within her heart is a Joy so ticklish, it surprises her as well.
With quickness and delight, there is humor to startle anyone.
Tensions eased, feathers smoothed and burdens lightened for all.
She is appreciative of the gift, and
She elevates them.

She radiates with the sounds of music.
Within her, vibrations and rhythms soothing and mellow.
Those who draw near are swept up in her hidden chants, 
her lyrical pulse.
They begin to move with grace and abandon, living in time to the Earth.
She truly relishes the gift, and
She attunes them.

So much to offer. And all she asks for in return, 
is for the Joy of giving,
And to be Loved.

TO DAD (THE SECULAR HUMANIST), FROM WITCH DAUGHTER?
By Kyra Finch Z.

I look with my heart; you look with your eyes;
I bask in wonder, you analyze.
I see the heavens, you see the skies;
And who's say, which way is wise.

Where I see jewels, you see stone;
You see old age, while I see the Crone.
I'm filled with joy, you life bemoan.
I walk with Goddess, you walk alone.

I see Lord Life giver, you see the sun;
You stand apart, while with all I'm one.
You've but one life, I've just begun;
For which of us, is life more fun?

You evolved upon the Earth,
I from the Cauldron of Rebirth.
Our lives both filled with love and mirth,
For in diversity lies our worth.

Kyra Finch Z.

Umbrella Trees and Heart Shaped Leaves
By iris ray

The front room window
frames the jointed branches 
of the umbrella tree,
an aged cottonwood 
that has lived on the grassy slope
longer than the courtyard that has fenced in 
the curled trunk 
for more than sixty years.

Shades of deep olive, chartreuse, and lemon lime
flicker in the sparkle
of early summer sunshine
as the ball of the sun
moves each warm, bright day to the next
in an eternal covenant
made with leaves and flowers

The heart shaped leaves 
of the umbrella tree
throb and grow lush as
a carpet of mossy shade
fills the worn out patch
of crab grass 
beneath the canopy of green
and an old tire swing 

A giggle from a half naked child
rings in the musky air
Spindly legs clutch the ragged rim 
of the scarred tire
The thick twisted rope 
looped through the circle
disappears up into a secret jungle above

Little red Keds 
on outstretched calves arc 
through the cool shadows
The trampled earth
is speckled with pin points
of amber light

The heart shaped leaves
begin to surrender their hold 
on the darkened branches 
as flamed reds and banana yellows
steal into the abundant foliage 
above the dry grass

and the umbrella tree's pact 
with the summer sun
ends slowly
as a chill seeps into the toasty atmosphere

A whisper from a carefree child
weaves through the fog laced air
and little red Keds shuffle
through a kindled sea 
of confetti leaves

The drowsy tire twirls and rocks
in the gusts of brisk breezes
as summer's heat is slowly consumed
by a hungry chill

The umbrella tree sleeps now and dreams
of heart shaped leaves
and giggles from a joyful child 
in little red Keds

as mean waves of frigid, hypnotic air
usher in silent white blankets 
of crunchy snow
to shroud the crab grass 
under the skeletal branches

The abandoned swing
now hangs straight
and stoic
clothed in an icy coat
and patiently waits
for the ancient pact
with the leaves and the flowers
to begin again

and a welcome glimmer 
from a sun on vacation
sends occasional reminders 
from Australia or Africa
so the umbrella tree 
can recall the vernal covenant

and soon the courtyard air
ignites with the prospect
of sunlight's return

A wide-eyed child 
in little red Keds
stares up in open mouth wonder
under the skeleton of the umbrella tree

The dark branches throb
with the beat of heart shaped leaves
as tiny green kernels
peek from the knobby tips

The leaf pods stir
and are not heard but felt
and the playful child returns
to the barren tire swing

The branches awake 
to bend and sway
in the growing warmth
of a lemon yellow sun

With an giggle and a leap
gangly legs grip the tire swing 
with clenched knees
and send the black circle
in a skyward arc

The heart shaped leaves
encouraged by familiar sounds
and the age old promise
of the sun's warmth
unbutton coats of green
and release tiny buds
of deep olive, chartreuse, and lemon lime

to grow lush and flicker
in the sparkle
of the summer sunshine. 

Weird Halloween
By DreamDancer


Things just hadn't been the same for me since Ginnie was killed in that car wreck almost 10 months ago. Just a short trip, to drop off some chicken soup of all damn things, to a sick friend. Just a short trip, yes, but one small patch of ice on a curve in the road, and Ginnie never came home again.

I went on with my life, as best I could. I got up every day, went to work, paid the bills, and did all the daily things I needed to do, and went to bed every night, tho sleep often alluded me, all alone, lonelier than I'd ever been, in the dark hours of the night.

My youngest sister in law Marie invited me over to her house to "celebrate" Halloween with her and her friends. Except she didn't call it Halloween, she called it Samhain, but said it was cool with her if I called it Halloween.

I guess I should explain a bit about that day name thing. Marie is one of those people that thinks she is some kind of witch or something, tho she calls herself Wiccan, I think. 

Well, I really didn't want to go. I had no desire, nor the energy to
hang out with a bunch of weird people celebrating their national holiday or whatever it was, but I truly love Marie like she is my own little sister, and this time I couldn't find it in my heart to turn her down.

I didn't know what to expect as I drove over to her house. Halloween,
or if you wish, Samhain, is the one time of year that I hadn't been around Marie.

Her house as I approached, looked just like any other house in the
neighborhood at this time of the year. There were cobwebs hanging in the trees, skeletons in the front windows, and two sentinel Jack-O-Lanterns guarding the front door stoop.

Inside, I found a group of people that looked no different from any others that i had seen. Some were in costume, some in regular street
clothes, and a couple were wearing what i guess were their "ritual" robes.

Marie ushered us all into her big dining room and seated us around the table. I noticed that there was another table with food and place setting on it placed over by the window. I asked her about this, and she told me it was for her other guests that hadn't arrived as yet.

I guess it was up in the air as to whether or not these other guests
would show up since Marie gave some kind of blessing for the food and for the people at her table, and for those that may show up, and we proceeded to eat.

I don't know what I expected all these so called witches or whatever to talk about, but the talk was of kids and family, work, music, sports, and the occasional lewd joke thrown in for spice.

Dinner ended, and the folks got up and drifted about the house. I got up and stretched myself a bit, and then walked over next to Marie by the small table she had set. "Guess those others aren't going to be showing up tonight" I told her.

She just smiled at me and said 'Well, some have come, others may decide to join us later". I guess she must have misunderstood what I meant, so I let it drop.

I took my first good look at the little table. On it were small portions
of everything that we had eaten. Then, I found my breath catching in my throat. Sitting in the center of the table was a cherry cheesecake with a little whipped cream "smiley face" on it. That was Ginnies favorite dessert, and I hadn't seen anyone else but Ginnie put that particular little touch on it.

I pointed the cherry cheesecake out to Marie and asked her why that
particular kind of dessert was there. 

"Oh, I made that for Ginnie" she said. "You know it's her favorite".

I felt my stomach drop and a depression fall over me. Tears came
unbidden to my eyes. "How could you be so crass?" I asked her. "She was your sister as well as my wife. I don't think this is in the least bit funny if it was meant as a joke".

Marie looked into my eyes, and I could now see her sorrow showing as well, but also a hint of a smile.

"Bobby, Ginnie was and is my sister, and I love her and miss her very
much. Let me explain something to you. You see, we believe that when someone dies, they don't just cease to exist. we believe they just go to another place, a place that we just can't see most of the time. At Halloween time, or what we call Samhain, the veil that separates that place from this one is at its thinnest, and sometimes those who have gone on can reach us here. We don't do any of that hocus pocus s‚ance stuff, but we do invite those who have gone on to join us, and we set out places for them, maybe even some of their favorite foods, like Ginnies cheesecake, to make them feel welcome.
Sometimes, if you are open enough, you can even see or feel them with us on this night".

There was nothing I could say to this. I just turned and walked into the living room and sat on the couch, trying to take the time to compose myself. 

A short while later, the rest of the people in the house drifted into
the back yard for whatever else they had planned for this night. I didn't wish to join them; I just wanted to be alone in my sorrow.

I don't know how much time had passed, but after a while I started to
hear music and a kind of chanting or singing. It was very low, and I
couldn't make out the words but I found the sounds to be very peaceful, relaxing and warm. I felt something akin to a warm tingle on my skin and in my bones.

As I grew more at peace with myself I started to think on what Marie had said. If it were only possible I thought. Well, what would it hurt to try?

I closed my eyes, and I don't know how I knew to do it, but I somehow
felt all the sadness and doubt leaving me, and in time it felt like a door
had opened in my heart and my soul.

Suddenly I felt a weight plop onto my lap and chest, and felt what seemed to be a kiss on the tip of my nose. My eyes sprung open to see, inches from my face, the impish grin of my Ginnie.

"About time Bozo" she teased as she bounced in my lap the way she always did. "don't you know it's the girl that's supposed to keep the boy waiting, not the other way around".

She hugged me close and told me she loved me, now and always. She told me she was not gone forever as Marie had said, but only in a different place, a place that would be hard for me to reach her in except at special times.

Tears of joy were running freely down my face, and I told her I never
wanted to be apart from her again. I would come to her, join her in this place she was in.

Ginnie pulled back from me a bit and smiled her special smile for me,
the one that no one else has ever seen.

"Bobby, that can't be right now. You have more of this life to live,
here in this place. The time has not come yet for you to join me, but I want you to know that a part of me is always with you".

Then, she play punched me in the gut, and put on that fierce warrior
face of hers, the one that looks so cute on one so petite.

"Now, what's up with all this moping about, not doing anything, and
feeling sorry for yourself? You have a lot of life to live, and a lot of
love to give. You need to move on. You can keep me in your heart, and my love for you in your soul, but you have to start living again sweetie. There's no need for you to be sad and alone anymore. Heck, maybe you should go out and find yourself a girlfriend or something. I saw a few cuties here tonight. Any catch your eye?"

"But, I love you" I said. "I don't want to be with anyone else".

"Well, you won't know unless you open yourself up to try" she said. "I
happen to know a few ladies that think you are one helluva guy, and cute as a button to boot, but i won't spill the beans on them. That's up to you to find out. Honey, don't just mourn for me. I want you to be happy".

"Ginnie, i don't think it could happen, but what if I did date again,
and what if i fell in love with her? That would be betraying you. What would happen when i die and come to join you? Who would I spend my eternity with, without betraying one of you?".

Once more that special smile crept upon her face. "Things work a bit
different here than they do for you. When the time comes for you to join me, we will be bound together by our love for each other, and we will both be bound to anyone new, or to children you may someday have, you, thru your love for them, me to them, thru my love for you".

Her words said plenty, but the feeling she gave me said even more, and I knew in my heart that she was right.

"Now my love, it's time for me to go. Know that I love you, and everything will be all right".

She hugged me close to her and warmth spread thru my body, and then she was gone, but the warmth remained.

I sat still for a while, then noticed that the music and chanting or singing had stopped, and some people were starting to drift back into the house.

I walked into the back yard to find Marie, and found her standing by a
circle of stones laid out on the ground, lit by torches surrounding it.

I got her attention and said "Thanks for inviting me tonight. I think I
better head on home tho. I think I'll go to church in the morning. I haven't wanted to go alone since Ginnie passed on, but I think the time has come to go back again".

A knowing smile came over her face, and she hugged me tight.

"Good night my brother Bobby. Happy Halloween".

"Good night lil sister Marie, and a Blessed Samhain to you".

9-29-2000

Windows of Life
Part 1
By Cassaundra RedHawk

Now days it is hard. It is so hard to take a few moments in a world full of hustle and bustle; wives, husbands, and children; bosses; and tons of bills (for which we barely have the money) to listen to and heal our bodies. I ought to know because I am right up there with the best of you. In thinking about it, I have discovered that all these things have a tendency to build up until we suppress them somehow in our bodies. In a house, eventually things that have been pushed aside will pile up and block the windows causing all manner of frustration because we can't see. The same is true with our bodies and the windows I refer to are called chakras. When these are blocked, our lives often come to a screeching halt due to injury or illness.

Over the next seven or so issues I hope to be able to teach you something about the chakras one by one. I am, by no means, a definitive expert on the subject, but maybe I can give you something you can use. Maybe I can even help some of you do a little 'house cleaning' so to speak. In this issue we'll start with the first or base chakra. As a Reiki practitioner, I have found that most people have a terrible time with this one being out of commission, so, let's see if I can give you a little helpful knowledge.

The chakras are the seven main windows to our bodies, each placed in linear fashion beginning at the base of the spine and ending at the crown of the head. Their function is to provide the light energy we need to live by focusing or filtering each type of energy into its appropriate place. To most psychics or sensitive people these windows appear as spinning vortexes of colored light. Others may see them as flowers, gems, or even starbursts. The variations are endless and depend on the people.

Now that you have your background on the chakras in general, let's get started. Please, keep in mind that this article is meant as an overview as it would take an extreme book to go into vast detail, many of which have already been written. I merely want to pique your curiosity...

The location of the base chakra is at the perineum or base of the spine. The color red and a lotus flower with four petals represent it. The base chakras element is earth; herb is cedar; stones are ruby, garnet, lodestone, and bloodstone. A few of the deities associated with this chakra are Gaia, Demeter/Persephone, Hades, Atlas, and the Archangel Auriel.

The base chakra is often called the root. It grounds us and connects us to life. Earth energy, which is life energy, is drawn in through this light center which then makes us highly aware of our being, existence, and solidity on this plane as well as others. It is like a tree that has been established in the earth. The tree's roots keep it connected to life. Without them the tree would not exist. With respect to the house analogy, the root chakra is our basement and foundation. We build upon it.

On a more physical level, the energy brought in by the first chakra feeds different parts of the body and maintains certain functions. When this energy is disrupted or blocked these parts or functions can be harmed causing illness to manifest. One main system that can be affected is the intestinal system. This can cause obesity, anorexia, or even intestinal ulcers. Other parts of the body that can be affected are the legs, feet, and bones. This can cause arthritis, knee problems, and a host of other such issues.

The base chakra provides one more vital function - it houses our primal selves. Through this chakra our consciousness is focused on survival and day-to-day physical needs. From here we are prompted to defend ourselves when in danger, find food when we are hungry, and find shelter when we are cold. This type of reaction has brought us culture, permanent shelter, tools, and, for most, set aside the worry of where the next meal will come from. However, in order to further society and the needs of the many, we have been taught to control or even suppress these basic instincts through laws, violence, and domineering religions. A lot of the time this can cause a 'short' in the system resulting in many days of recovery afterward.

On a final note, should you start to feel disconnected or overloaded, try going outside to sit on the ground. Allow the earth energy to reconnect you to life and clear away some of the clutter. If you are good at visualization, you can clear the base chakra by seeing it as a perfectly clear red swirl that spins in a clockwise direction (as you face yourself) while drawing in golden earth energy. Also, experiment. Find something that works for you.

I hope I have been able to enlighten you with this little essay. Following is a meditation I wrote to allow you to feel and get to know some of the qualities contained in the base chakra. I hope you enjoy it and I welcome your feedback.

Brightness,
Cassaundra

*********************************
Meditation 1

Get comfortable and relax. Steady yourself as you prepare to set off on a great journey. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Through your mouth, exhale. Feel the breath travel through your body.

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your feet. Feel the tension in your feet leave your body as you breathe. 

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your legs. Feel the tension from your legs leave your body as you breathe.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your belly. Feel the tension from your belly leave your body as you breathe.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your chest. Feel the tension from your chest leave your body as you breathe.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your back. Feel the tension from your back leave your body as you breathe.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your arms. Feel the tension from your arms leave your body as you breathe.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your shoulders and neck. Feel the tension from your shoulders and neck leave your body as you breathe.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your head. Feel the tension from your head leave your body as you breathe.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Take another deep breath. Exhale and relax your mind. Let all thoughts drift away like bubbles on a spring breeze. See them pop and disappear.

<Pause - 10 seconds>

See yourself at the opening of a cave. It is a wondrous cave, large enough to be quite comfortable. You step inside to see the walls covered in red and clear crystals. The red crystals give off a soft glowing light that is somehow comforting. At the back of the cave is another opening that leads into a corridor covered in the same glowing crystals. You can see a dirt path following the corridor that gently slopes downward. You are drawn to follow the path and step through the opening

The corridor is somewhat narrow, but you feel quite safe and comfortable. The crystals lining the walls and ceiling continue to glow with a beautiful earth energy that lights your way. You feel the path slope gently downward. With every step you take you go deeper and deeper into the earth. With every breath you take you go deeper and deeper into yourself.

<Pause - 10 seconds>

As you walk a little further you start to see a different kind of light. A soft white glow starts to appear ahead of you. As you near the light you see that it comes from another opening that leads out of the cave corridor into the dim sunlight. You step through the opening into a place of beautiful tall trees. All around you is a great forest of cedar, ash, oak, as well as others. The sunlight has a misty hue as it is filtered through the leaves. You stand there and admire the beauty and feel the warmth.

As you look around you start to feel a stirring in the core of your being. You start to feel the primal, animal energy that comes from being in this place - so old and untouched civilization. You feel you can almost remember what it was like to be an animal - to be free to run, to hunt and be hunted. You feel the basic need for survival.

<Pause - 30 seconds>

Something stirs in the underbrush. You turn to face the sounds and see a great black wolf staring back at you through golden yellow eyes. She watches you warily. Both of you sense the tension between you. Slowly you lower yourself to your knees - eyes locked with hers. The two of you stare at each other for a long moment then relax slightly. Ask the wolf if she has anything to share with you.

<Pause - 1 minute (lengthen as you feel comfortable)>

The wolf gives you a chuff then turns as if to run. She runs a few steps then stops and looks at you. She gives a bark and takes another step. She wants you to run with her, to feel the same freedom she feels. You get up and run - following the black wolf.

<Pause - 15 seconds>

The wolf stops. She has brought you to a quiet place deep in the forest with a clear circle of earth. Large rocks, trees, and grasses are all around you. You sit in the clear circle to rest, exhilarated by your run. You look around and see there are flowers growing very close to the ground near the edge of a line of trees. They are a beautiful, deep, glowing red with four petals. Their scent drifts toward you. It's a wonderful musky fragrance that seems to make you well aware of everything around you.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

As you sit, see yourself as being connected. Connected to the earth and everything around you. Feel the strength and solidity of the earth. You are a part of it. You belong to it. It is a part of you. It belongs to you.

<Pause - 10 seconds>

From the corner of your eye you see movement. Slowly you turn your head to see what may have caught your attention. Standing just inside the tree line is a majestic buck. Around his great neck is a wreath of the beautiful red flowers. He watches you cautiously. Slowly you stand. The animal turns and looks as if he will run. You hold your breath in hopes that he will not. He looks at you and nods his head to you. It seems you are to follow him. You walk toward him as he starts down a narrow trail. Ask the buck if he has anything to share with you.

<Pause - 1 minute (lengthen as you feel comfortable)>

As you walk you see other animals in the forest, all searching for food. You come to a small cottage. Grey smoke rolls from the chimney bringing the sweet smell of fresh bread to your nose. You realize you have not eaten for some time and are hungry.

The buck takes you to the door of the cottage. You knock. A young woman opens the door and looks at you. She seems very familiar. You are surprised when she greets you by name and bids you enter.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

The cottage has only one room. It is warm and earthy with a long table in the center that looks as if it has been rough carved from cedar logs. The fireplace is at one end with a kettle hanging over it. A bed seemingly carved in the same manner as the table, sits at the opposite end from the fireplace. The woman offers you a chair to rest in.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

The woman brings you fresh bread, a bowl of stew, and water. She bids you to eat.

<Pause - 10 seconds>

When you are done, the woman removes the dished and returns to sit with you. She introduces herself. She is Gaia, Goddess of the Earth. She has much to tell you. Talk with her. Ask her questions. Listen to what she has to say.

<Pause - 2 minutes>

Gaia has a gift for you. She gives you a beautiful red garnet. The stone is perfectly round and well cut. It fits perfectly in the palm of your hand. You gaze into the stone. In it you see the four-petaled carved into it. The garnet has been given to you to remind you of all things basic. Hold it in your hands and know that you are real and alive.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Gaze into the stone and see the hunt, a basic for survival. Sense its energy, draw on it and feel grounded, connected.

<Pause - 5 seconds>

Gaia stands and motions to the door. The door opens. Standing in front of the open door is the buck that brought you there. It is time for you to go. Gaia bids you farewell and tells you that you are welcome to return to her whenever you are in need of her. You stand and follow the deer out into the forest. He guides you down another narrow path. The path is lined with the low growing red flowers.

After a short time you are brought to the cave you came through to get into the forest. You understand it is now time to return. You thank the buck for his guidance. He nods his head in acknowledgement and bounds away. You turn and enter the cave. All the crystals glitter in the light that filters in from outside. You start the walk up the path that leads through the crystal cave. The walk is not hard and with each step you get closer and closer to where you started this journey. With each breath you feel your mind and body returning to the everyday world. Each step brings you closer and closer to consciousness. You see the light coming into the cave and are back in the room where you started. You step out of the cave to awaken and feel rested and refreshed.